Guilty of Love

Chapter Sixteen

January 12th

I have been in here for several months now; I have been moved from the maximum security ward to the less dangerous population of the prison. Maybe they think that since I am getting huge, I am not a threat to anyone anymore, quite the opposite. If a pregnant she-wolf gets backed into a corner, she is deadlier than a stampeding bull.

The visits to the infirmary are becoming more and more frequent. Getting to listen to his heartbeat and I got to go to an actual hospital where they did an ultrasound and found that I am indeed carrying a baby boy. Declan Trent Casey Jr., and he is going to be a great Alpha of the River's Edge Pack one day.

Full Moons have become harder to hide from now, I have a cell mate, and her name is Mary Anne. She is in for strong-arm robbery. She does not like to use weapons, her hands and feet are her weapons. We get along quite well. She is 26 years old, has strawberry blond hair and green eyes and stands about 5' 7". You can tell that she works out, a lot.

It is visitors day, they have finally let me have people come and see me. Every week it is my dad, Sean and Jillian. They also bring along my lawyer Mr. Bines. My father's lawyer is stuck on a huge trial back in Maine and could not make it. The trial is only a few weeks away and I am scared out of my mind.

"Casey, you have a visitor." I got up from my bunk and waddled to the cell door. The guard put on my hand cuffs and took me for the usual search, to make sure that I wasn't going to try passing anything along to my visitors. Finally, he walked me to the visitor's area.

"Daddy, I have missed you so much." He pulled me into a big hug and my spirits immediately went up.

"You look good baby girl, how are you feeling?" I knew he was lying to me, I looked like absolute crap. I was not getting enough sunlight or fresh air and my beautiful hair was now stringy and straw like.

"I am feeling great and D.J. is growing wonderfully." I put a hand onto my belly and so did he.

He smiled at me, but I could see the pain that he was going through. Being away from his pack was doing a number on him and we have used every lead possible to find out what happened to Declan. 

"This is almost over, I know that once everything comes out and the jury knows what happened they will side with you, even if you have to take an insanity plea." My dad always tried to reassure me that there was going to be a way for everything to be okay.

"I want to believe you Dad, but I cannot just go out and openly tell them about us. We have gone thousands of years without being in the public eye and I don't think that I could be the one that opens up that Pandora's Box. Now as far as the insanity plea, I was not insane, my wolf took over and I cannot cover for her by saying that I just went nuts from grief."

He looked as if I taken the wind from his lungs. "I am not saying that you did go nuts honey, but honestly, without any proof that those men where the ones that took Declan, it may be the only way out of all of this."

"I understand Dad, but I did kill them, me, not the packs and I am not going to bring you all down with me."

"Time's up Casey." The guard came back into the room that my father and I were talking in. "Sir you will have to leave now, visiting hours are over."

"Okay." My dad grabbed the sides of my head and put my forehead to his.

'We are still here for you honey, even if you try and push us away, we are not going anywhere.'

'Thank you Daddy, I love you. Give Clayton a hug for me, I know he is here too.'

'I will baby girl, stay strong.'

The guard led my dad out of the visitors section and another guard led me back to my cell. I was exhausted; I just laid down on my bed and cried. I have put everyone through so much and I needed to just accept that I may never be getting out of prison.

"Hey there honey, why so sad?" I heard Mary Anne calling as she was brought back into our cell.

I wiped the tears from eyes as I sat back up. "My dad came to see me. I miss being with my family and I think that being so close to the trial is getting to me."

She sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulder. "Who knows, maybe by some miracle new evidence will come to light and everything will be fine."

A small laugh escaped my lips. "That would be a miracle in deed."

The next few weeks went by and I was getting more and more anxious. The trial was only a few days away now and I am now coming to grips with the fact that this could be the end of me. I have made arrangements for D.J. to be given to Sean and Jillian after he is born. I will get to spend a couple days in the hospital with him, but chances are that I will not get to see him again for several years as children are not allowed as visitors here.

My due date is March 24 and the trial starts on February 27th.  A little close to comfort for me, but I have no control over when it starts, just like I will have no control over when my baby boy decides to come into this world. All I can do is bide my time and wait for this all to be over.

My trial is set to start tomorrow, and there are truly no words to explain how nervous I am. I have met with Mr. Bines for the last time before the trial and I still cannot get over the feeling that I have about him. It is as if he wants me to just give up and go straight to death row. My wolf has wanted to kill him several times, but I do not want another murder on my hands.

Trying to sleep tonight was a joke, my mind was going a million miles an hour and the hour of sleep that I did get was filled with memories of the short time that Declan and I had together. Our first meeting, our first time making love and our wedding. It ended with the dream that I have had repeatedly, our son coming up to me and asking me to tell him about his daddy.

The day of the trial was upon us and for some reason; a feeling of calm came over me. It was almost as if Declan was there with me, telling me that everything was going to be okay. If only it was true, if only he was still alive and I wish that I could just look at him one last time and tell him that I love him.