Bucky - When You're Ready

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A/N: Kind of inspired by the song When You're Ready (MY STAN SONG) by Shawn Mendes, which is up there ^ :D
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Tears stream down your face as you choke out the words you've been dreading to say,"I can't do this anymore."

Bucky flinches as soon as he hears those words, before moving backwards as if not believing what you just said. He looks up at you, his eyes pleading you to say that you don't mean what you said.

"I'm sorry, it's just... I can't deal with so many things at the moment," you say, sniffling. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no, hun. Don't be sorry, it's okay," he says comfortingly, taking a step forward.

"It's my fault, Buck. I'm sorry you have to go through this," you argue, avoiding his eyes as much as possible. "I need some time to... figure things out."

"I know," he says, nodding in understanding. "You've been through a lot," he repeats, more to himself, really. "I'm sorry you had to put up with me," he apologizes, looking down.

"No, you know it's not like that," you reply, taking ahold of his metal arm, before pulling your arm back because you realize that you both aren't together anymore. "I need to... learn to love myself before I can love you," you finally say after a long pause.

Truth is, you've been having an internal battle with yourself for the past few months. It's true that Bucky always makes you feel better, but you feel guilty for not being able to help him out when he needs you. Hell, he's been your rock throughout this whole thing, but you think you can't handle the fact that you're not giving him anything in return. You've never told him that, though, as you know that he'll just say that you don't need to do anything for him.

"I get it," he says. "Can we... stay friends?"

"God, of course," you sigh in relief. "You won't believe how much I hoped that this would go like this instead of us having a full-blown fight."

"You thought I'd get mad?"

You shrug, wiping your tears as you sniffle. "So I guess this is goodbye," you manage to croak out before bursting into tears again.

"Aw, don't cry," he coos, enveloping you in a hug. "You'll be okay. We'll be okay," he assures you.

You feel hot tears stream down your face. "I just don't want us to end because of this, you know?"

He nods, taking a deep breath. "We'll do everything on your terms, okay? This can be a break instead of an actual break up," he suggests. "That way, we can both sort things out and when we're done, we can get back to being us."

You think about it for a while. "That sounds... nice, actually," you say, agreeing. "I'm gonna miss you so much," you confess, your arms wrapping a bit tighter around him.

"I'm gonna miss you, too, Y/N," he says. "But I'm here whenever you need me, okay?"

"I love you," I whisper, kissing his cheek. "We'll be okay."

He nods, smiling lightly with tears in his eyes. "Just... tell me when you're ready 'cause I'll be waiting," he says with a slight smirk.

"Shut up." You punch him playfully.

"Take your time, though, 'cause if I have to, I'll wait forever. Just say the words, and I'm yours," he tells you, burying his nose in your hair.

"What are the words, 'I have plums'?"

He laughs wholeheartedly, masking the pain behind his eyes that he so desperately doesn't want you to see.

"I'm gonna miss you a whole lot," he says, sighing. He wraps his arms around you tightly, before letting go.

"I'm gonna miss you, too," you reply, and that's your relationship. At least for now.

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