December 21, 2012

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Dear nobody,

I truly have nobody anymore. Even Liam hates me but, I should have seen this coming.

I have decided to tell you why I did this from the beginning. When I was eight, I was put in an adoption center because the foster home I was recently at, didn't want me anymore. The owner of the orphanage was so sweet when I got there but, she took advantage of me being young. She raped me, telling me not to wake anyone up. After the one night, I was never the same friendly, out-going, little Irish boy and everyone noticed. The owner had a helper in the house with her and she could see that there was something bothering me. I didn't tell her and that same night, the owner did it to me again. I was now afraid of her because she threatened me. The next morning, I told Maria, the helper, and Maria called the police, having her arrested for rape. After that everyone in the orphanage got moved and scattered all over.

At the age of 9, I was moved in a London orphanage where I met Liam. That is also the year Haylee was Born and given up. Her parents dropped her here because their parents didn't agree with them having a kid. They told me to watch over Haylee like she was my little sister and that's exactly what I did. Liam and I were so close, inseparable. I thought we were going to be together forever, he was also the first reason I knew I was gay. He was so perfect, beautiful, loving and sweet. He helped me stop cutting and helped my visions go away. Two years later, he Liam got adopted and I had no one besides Haylee, by this time she was 6.

When Liam was there we made a few friends in school but last year, I met Jake. Jake was gorgeous, sweet and amazing, and I fell for him hard. I still remember that one day, he pulled me into a room and told me how special I was to him. We talked all the time in public, but I never flirted because I thought he was straight. That day, he kissed me and told me his feelings for me, I was on top of the world. He eventually asked me out but we had to keep it a secret, and I hated that. I understood why though, he still was loving and passionate. On the roof top near the green house was our place. We were together for almost a year, I wanted everyone to know and I tried to surprise Jake but that ruined everything. He was around all of his friends, I went up to him and kissed him but he pushed me off. Not the reaction I expected. He shouted in my face, "Get off of me, you gay loser. I wouldn't want to be with you, even if I was gay." That hurt. I went home and cried, harder that I have in a while but for Liam's sake, I didn't cut. From there on, my life was miserable.

On November 2nd, I met the most beautiful boy ever. He was one of those guys that has everyone drooling over him. Caramel brown hair nicely put into a quiff, beautiful sea blue eyes that you can't help but to get lust in them. He was absolutely stunning. I fell in love with him, but I was scared to talk to him because I didn't want him to hate me like the rest. Unfortunately, I lost the only person I loved. He fell for Jake and Jake turned him against me. Jake filled him with disgusting lies that ruined my love life. Louis, his name has the cutest ring to it.

Jake, I hope you burn in hell for this. Mom, dad, I know I haven't called you that before since you adopted me but I've realized since I've been here that you deserve that from me especially now. I wanted to tell you, I appreciate everything you have done for Haylee and I, and for taking us in. I love you guys. Liam, you are my best friend, even if you hate me right now. I'm sorry for everything and if you read my other letters, I apologized. Louis, even after the beatings and bullying, I still love you and I don't blame you for hating me. But I can tell you one thing, I never raped Haylee. By experience, I will do anything to protect Haylee so the same thing that happened to me, doesn't happen to her. If you do read this, I love you and everything Jake told you is a lie to get you to hate me. Lastly Haylee, My little baby Haybell. I love you baby girl no matter what. I did this for a reason and I'm sure as you get older you'll understand. You have a great family who loves you and from now on Liam will look after you. And I will protect you in the heavens.

~Niall

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I'm sorry it took me so long to upload this, I've been really busy. But anyways I hope you like it!!

~Sky:]

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