As We Fall (Blaise Zabini Fanfiction)

Chapter 8

Zoe

When I make it down to the library, Blaise is waiting for me at a table towards the back. The room is completely empty, and outside, night has fallen over the Hogwarts grounds, frosty and twinkly.

"You're late." Is how he greets me. His voice is stale and bland.

He's right - I am, but I couldn't care less. I took a futile amount of time getting down here just to piss him off.

"Sorry." I say insincerely. I slide in to the seat across from him uneasily. "So, do you have any plans for tonight or anything?"

Blaise nods in response. "Yeah. Get out your potions textbook, turn it to page three-ninety-seven."

I parrot his movements, robot-like. My stomach has begun to twinge and pluck uneasily, like the untuned strings of a guitar. For some reason, I feel nervous for what Blaise has prepared tonight.

Along with my book, I pull out my reading glasses - big, comical, tortoise-shell frames that make my eyes appear twice their size. I have to wear them at night, when it's especially dark out.

Fitting them over the bridge of my nose, I pray that Blaise will not notice, or at least not say anything about them.

"You wear glasses?" He asks, as if on cue.

With a sigh of exasperation, I nod. I fidget with a strand of my own hair, suddenly self-conscious.

Blaise bites his lip; he seems to be holding back either a grin or a chuckle. I want to hit him for laughing at me.

Asshole.

"I just want to review the basics today - materials that you need in class and how to use them." Blaise says, fingering the pages of his textbook with boredom. "Besides, I'm too tired to do anything else."

When I hear this, my chest flares up with anger. He can't be serious, right?

"That's honestly bullshit. You're supposed to be teaching me actual stuff about potions." The words rush out of my mouth before I can stop them. "Not just what you're not too lazy to do."

He pauses for a moment, and then, very slowly, his eyes turn onto me. They're venomous.

"I know what the fuck I'm doing, okay? I had a long day."

I clamp my mouth shut, attempting to prevent the string of unpleasant words running through my mind from coming out. If Blaise wants to be a dick to me outside of tutoring, then so be it. But it can't affect my education - I have too much to catch up on for that.

I decide to leave it alone for now. I don't want him to stop helping me altogether.

"Anyways," He continues, his voice a sigh, "the materials you'll always need to brew a potion are a cauldron, scales, and phials. You need ingredients, obviously, but those are your materials. Can you tell me what any of them are used for?"

I rack my brain, but only produce a stale bit of information on both the cauldron and the scales. I can't quite remember what the phials do, which Blaise certainly doesn't find pleasing.

"Are you serious?" He says. His voice is honey-thick with so much irritation that I feel the sting of it on my skin. "You're supposed to know this shit before you even board the Hogwarts Express. Have you even opened your book before?"

"Yes." I snap bitterly. "I just wasn't raised like everyone else was. My damn apologies."

"Any half-ass wizard would know to teach their kid the bare minimum before shipping them off to school. That explains why you literally don't know anythi-"

He stops.

The room goes quiet just as I feel the first tear peel down my cheek. I hadn't even noticed, but my throat is tight, lumpy. My eyes are wet and stinging.

I can't bear his hurtful comments any longer.

"Are you crying?"

***

Blaise

Shit, shit, shit.

She refuses to look up at me, her hair falling in a protective curtain around her telltale watery eyes. She doesn't speak, but I can see her lip quivering and I know that I've fucked up.

Nice going, you dick.

The cogs and screws in my mind are reeling like aggressive clockwork as I try to figure out a way to undo this. I've dealt with many crying girls before, but not once has it actually induced panic in me. Until now.

"Hey, it's okay." My voice is hushed, and this is all I can manage to force past my lips. I haven't bothered to comfort anyone in quite a long time, and the words feel foreign on my tongue.

They do no good - Zoe's lashes are still wet with tears, and her nose has turned undeniably pink. She's trying to be quiet - her breathing is very uneven - and I know that she hates crying in front of me because I can see the frustration in her eyes.

"Hey, you're fine, Zo, it's - " I stop abruptly, my lips tightening as I realize that I've just accidentally given this tiny, crying thing across from me a nickname. I briefly wonder what the hell has gotten into me.

"Here." I say, and I reach out and carefully pluck her glasses from her face. They're abnormally big and round, even for her eyes.

I clean the wetness from the lenses with the tip of my sleeve, lean across the table, and cautiously place the temples back behind her ears. The tips of my fingers brush against her skin, a few loose strands of hair.

And it's then, when she wipes her nose with the back of her sleeve and looks up at me through watery lashes with those big, blue eyes, that I feel it.

An intense, fluttery, tingle in my chest, right over my heart. Something warm.

Immediately, I lean back in my seat, my hands clapping over my head as I stare up at the ceiling.

"Oh, fuck." I'm breathless. The sensation has quite literally knocked the air from my lungs, and it's then that I know I'm absolutely fucked.

"What?" Zoe asks - I can hear her from across the table. I can't look at her, though. I can't bring myself to.

"Nothing." I say, shaking my head, my eyes deliberately closing as I lean forward again. "Let's just move on."

And with great dedication, I avoid looking her in the eyes for the remainder of the night.