As We Fall (Blaise Zabini Fanfiction)

Chapter 23

Blaise

I've never dreamt about killing someone before.

Last night, I couldn't sleep, and honestly, I hadn't really wanted to. Sure, I went up to my dorm, turned the lights off, and laid in my four poster, but I had no intentions of sleeping.

I laid in bed all night, furious. I didn't move, not once - it felt like the muscles inside me had turned to cement. I wanted to punch something - preferably Marcus Flint.

The image of him on top of Zoe replayed through my mind like a broken record. His hands pressed against her, the way she looked so afraid beneath him. It was like when you're driving on the freeway and you see a gruesome car crash. Bodies bent at strange angles, flashing lights. As much as you want to forget it, the memory will haunt you for days to come, because you can't forget something like that. Just like I can't forget about what happened to Zoe. Flint knew exactly what he was doing, and he didn't think twice about stopping.

Around six o'clock the next morning, my eyes closed from pure exhaustion. My body had been a tense mess for hours, and no matter how much I tried to resist sleep, it overtook me anyways.

That's when I had the dream about killing Flint. It was quick - me and him, a flash of green light. It frightens me to know that I'm capable of thinking about that. I may be a dick sometimes, but I'm not a killer. And I don't want to kill Flint - I just want to beat his ass as close to death as I possibly can.

I've never been a person who couldn't control my anger. Most of the times, I'm very good at keeping it stuffed within me. But after what Flint did to Zoe, I don't know if I'll be able to hold myself back the next time I see him.

***

After Flint last night, Stevie and I had taken Zoe up to Stevie's dorm. She'd been hysterical, and we'd practically had to drag her through the corridors. After that, I was instructed not to come anywhere near the Ravenclaw tower until Zoe was well again. When Stevie told me this, I was fuming. I'd been the one to find Zoe, and what neither of them understood is that I do care about her. Sure, I made a bet at the beginning of the year, but I hadn't realized Flint would take it so seriously.

I wonder if Flint was trying to finally live out his part of the bet when he did what he did last night. The thought makes me hate myself. How could I have ever been so damn careless?

Anyways, despite what Stevie told me, I've already been up to the Ravenclaw tower three times today. Zoe is all I can think about, and I just want to know that she's okay.

The first time I go up, it's right after breakfast. Spiked up on coffee, I jolt up to Stevie's dorm. However, when I knock and ask if I can come in, she doesn't even open the door to answer me.

I go up again at lunch. Mostly to see Zoe, but also because Flint's just swaggered into the great hall and I don't want to get myself expelled by fighting him right now. This time, I ask very nicely if I can please come in just for a few minutes. Stevie steps in the hall and tells me to go back downstairs. I pace off, boiling with anger.

After a couple more hours pass, I decide to try one more time to see if Stevie will let me in.

"What, Blaise." Stevie breathes the words out when I knock on her door again.

I open my mouth and then close it again, at a loss for words. "I just need a few minutes."

"He's fine." A small voice answers from within the dorm. "I don't mind."

Stevie looks over her shoulder quizzically, and then back at me. I try to make myself look as calm as possible, even though that's the exact opposite of how I feel inside.