MARCH 4TH, 2017.
tom,
the second day you've been gone. all i can do is trudge around my house and let the memories of us flood back into my mind. as much as i've tried to forget already, to move on, i can't help but see you everywhere.
on my couch, where we used to cuddle and have movie nights every friday. in my bed, where we not only fooled around on occasion, but where we lay and talk about our futures together while you stroked my hair and i lay my head on your chest. around my halls, where you'd chase me and try to tickle me, and i ran from you, grinning like the happiest fool in the world.
i see myself holding your hand as we walk out the door, me pecking your cheek before you go around to get in your seat in the car. i see us driving and singing along to cheesy pop hits, rapping our lives away, and enjoying the wind blowing through our hair as you roll the windows down.
i picture us walking around the neighbourhood, hand in hand, and i am humming "singing in the rain" together since it reminded me of you and your amazing dance off against your costar, zendaya. tell her i said hi, if you will.
do you remember the day we decided to walk down the block to the cafe? the day it started pouring rain and we had to hurry to get inside so that our money and prized possessions didn't get soaked and ruined? the day that we just sat there in the cafe, ordering small desserts and drinks so that the cashier wouldn't force us to go out into that torrential downpour? yeah, i remember it, too. it feels like it happened yesterday. but no, yesterday marks the first day i was without you and finally realizing that this was really happening to me.
what i did, what you think i did, didn't happen... but i don't suppose you'd want me to explain, now would you? perhaps if you one day wrote back to me, if you're even reading these stupid little pieces of paper with my thoughts on them, then i would explain everything to you.
i can't get you out of my head, now. i always believed myself to be the type of person who could take a simple thing such as a breakup well... but i guess i was wrong. sure, it's only been two days. but those two days already feel like a year, and by the time it has been a year, i still won't be over you and it'll have felt like an eternity. that's depressing, isn't it? that i already know i won't get over you? yeah, it kind of is.
i remember the nights you'd stay up, even if you had an important audition in the early morning hours, for me so i'd fall asleep when i had panic attacks or my insomnia hit once more. those nights were the best... and now, i can't get an ounce of sleep without feeling you next to me. your warmth, your hand on my hip and your chest pressed to my back. those were the days, weren't they?
regards,
Lynn.
( NOTESー
before anyone says anything, i'm aware that the lip sync battle didn't come out till july 5th of 2017. this has been bumped up strictly for the plot! it makes it more depressing lol
kind regards to the readers ! )
