Our messed up lives

6. New journey

I opened my eyes to the early rays of the sun and the 2years old wound that seemed fresh, even today.

The newly risen sun was scattering amber glow everywhere. Far in the mosque, people were humming azan. Their soulful chant, mixed with the chirpings of the bird, created magical ripples in the air that worked as an alarm from the entire city.
The city was finally waking up, discarding its cloak of slumber. And there I was still lying against the bed-board, seething in agony, trying to heal my wounded self.

A broken soul I was, so lost and so vulnerable and the begining of a new day was just another reminder to it.

Each time. Every time.

Night was gone long ago. Along with it, my 'I_am_broken' phrase should have gone too. But unfortunately, it didn't. Meant that I was supposed to enact the 'I_am_strong' phrase once again.

Why enact? You ARE strong and the world knows it.
Someone prompted from inside.

-But... I was still unsure.

You are handling a broken relationship, parenting a child by yourself and adding new feathers to your career on dint of your hard work.... what else do you need to realise how strong you are?

That voice belonged to my mind. A proud, confident bitch who had nothing better to do other than giving me inferiority complex for my sillyness.

A hopeless smile popped on my lips. I was kinda used to this complexity by now. I may never tell it at the face but deep inside I always knew that I was silly. It was silly of me to think myself weak, broken, vulnerable. Yes, uptil you are a person and not a random gadget, you are always broken in some way or the other. But that crack in you or your broken pieces cannot overcome your strength or tag you as a looser. Trust me, it never does...... not atleast when you have got a magic pill in your life.. just like my Coco??

"Coco....Wake up baby." I tilted slightly over my sleeping princess and cooed in her ears.
In reponse, she wriggled a little, turned to the side and curled into a ball with her thumb stuck between her parted lips.

Had it been a regular school day for her, I'd have definitely got irritated. But today, her little cute antics felt so adorable that I couldn't help but curl myself upon her, tucking her inbetween my limbs like a spongy, goodybag.

"Umm...mommy." she dquealed from underneath. Her complaining tone made me squish her some more.

"Wake up bunny..see, even the sun uncle is up and you are still in your bed!" I pecked her earlobe.

About 3 years ago, I had told this same thing to Dev. It was a bright morning then, preceeding a night of a tiring love making session. Dev was still sleeping. Him, on top of me. He had tucked me under his huge frame and wasn't allowing me to get up anyways. I tried a lot to persue him to move away, but he being him- the stubborn headed jerk, ignored me and remained sticking to my body like glue. And then when I said that the sun is up, he replied like-
I am not supposed to do photosynthesis Tara. So please don't disturb my sleep now. Infact I'd say that you too come to sleep.. or lets have another round of.....I won't mind either of them you know!!

That time he had earned a smack on his head from me. Today, I was earning the smack from mind. She was pretty glaring at me for rolling back to the same track. However, I blinked at her and assured that today there was no looking back. Today it was only the mumma-daughter's time and I was going to keep my words under all viable conditions.

"I am baking a chocolate pudding today. Now if Coco doesn't wake up, whom will I feed that pudding?" I said with a glitch in my voice and Coco looked up at me within a jiffy.
It was the second time my trick had so successfully worked, not to mention all the credits belonged to the pudding of which my baby was huuuuuge fan!