[C] bet | park junhee

chapter twelve

the beeping continued. i started to feel intense pain in my heart. it was very hard for me to stand right there, in front of jun's dying body.

"jun!" i screamed while shaking jun's whole body. he didn't respond at all. "jun, no!"

a doctor came running after hearing my loud screams. "get the defribillator ready!" he said to the two nurses trailing behind him before tearing jun's hospital gown open.

i stood far from the bed, at one corner of the ward. i couldn't even make myself see jun in that horrible condition.

"clear!" the doctor shouted. he placed the metal part of the thing-a-magic on jun's bare chest. it was the smallest bit of hope i had for jun's life.

jun's body shook a little but he showed no response. his pulse rate was at a dramatically declining state.

"up to two hundred joules now!" the doctor ordered. "clear!" he screamed and did the same thing again. but jun still showed no sign of life.

"two hundred fifty!"

"clear!"

the room was quiet after the doctor placed the defibrillator on jun's chest for the last time. the only thing heard was the pulse rate detector. however, the results were utterly disappointing. the machine only told us that jun's heart wasn't beating anymore.

the doctor sighed and packed his things. "park junhee. time of death; 5:05 pm." he said to the nurse as she scribbled something down on a piece of paper.

my knees got weak and i immediately plopped onto the ground. tears flowed down my cheeks drastically. i couldn't stop blaming myself for what happened to him. jun is gone forever and it was all my fault.

"i'm sorry, miss. we couldn't save him."

○○○

it was lunch time. donghun and i sat down at our dining table, eating together. not exactly. i was just sitting in front of him, looking at my food and staring at him while he ate.

donghun suddenly dropped his spoon and fork. "eui." he called in a serious tone.

i shot him an expresionless look. i could tell that my eyes were completely blank. not a single word came out of my mouth.

donghun sighed, looking irritated. "you haven't talked, eaten well and did anything in the past seven months. you've never gone to work and you've been spending most of your time in your room."

i didn't respond to him and looked down onto my dish. nothing looked delicious to me anymore. i decided that what i did to jun was unacceptable and i should be punished.

"eui, he's dead! and there's nothing you can do to bring him back to life!" he said, in a louder voice than before.

little did i know that i slowly started to cry. what donghun said really hurt me for some reason.

donghun sighed once again and showed an annoyed face. "i'm fucking sick of you, eui!" he stood up and slammed his hand onto the table.

i stopped crying but didn't look at him. my eyes were focusing on my hands as i fiddled my fingers. light hiccups escaped my closed mouth.

donghun ran his hand through his hair. "forget it, eui." he said before going into the kitchen.

a while later, he came back with a glass of orange juice and sat down on his chair.

"just drink this." said donghun, handing the glass of orange juice to me.

i didn't want to take it at first. i shook my head agressively. donghun lost patience and manually made me chug the water down my throat. the juice tasted odd. just then, i felt so dizzy and my stomach started to ache.

"w-what did you do to me, donghun?" i asked as my consciousness slowly faded away.

the last thing I heard that day was, "i'm sorry, eui."

○○○

a familiar black haired man was standing right in front of me. i gasped aloud upon noticing who it was.

"jun?" i called.

jun turned around and showed me a shocked face. "what are you doing here, eui?!"

i shrugged. "i don't know. why are you here?"

jun chuckled. "i'm here because i died, eui. now you tell me why you're here."

i was thinking for a while and remembered something. "donghun poisoned me! am i dead too, jun?"

jun walked closer towards me and tried to hold my hand. however, his hands went right through me like a hologram. he was close but he was also unreachable.

"eui, you're not. you fainted." said jun.

i shook my head and started to shiver. i was so dissappointed. "why did donghun do that?"

"i know all about it, eui. for now you just have to wake up and go through it. the painful truth that has been hiding from you for a long time." jun explained.

"w-what?" i asked in confusion.

"just wake up, eui. i swear i'll protect you from up here. when you get into trouble, just say my name." he said.

i nodded even though i was a little puzzled - a lot puzzled. in a blink of an eye, jun was out of my sight.