Against All Odds (Finnick Odair love story) (1)

Chapter 30

I can finally breathe again when we get on the train. Finnick Mags and I say fair well to my prep team. Valentine is staying with me to stay for a few days so he can monitor my eating. He says it is doctors orders.
"Kara you can go get out of your dress shower and then we can have a later dinner." Jasabell says to me in a sickly sweet voice.
"Of course." I say politely attempting to be civil.
I take the dress from my body. Folding it on the dresser. I scrub the makeup off of my face. The warm water soothing my cold body.I wash myself quickly. My hair curls and frizzes up over my shoulders. I wear loose dark grey draw string pants. A white muscle shirt and a thin pink cardigan. I walk my feet bare into the dining room ignoring Jasabell's judgmental looks. Seeing Mags and Finnick wearing more causal clothes is very refreshing. It makes them more human.
They smile when they see me.
"Valentine is in his room he said he wasn't feeling well." Mags informs me.
"I do hope he's alright." I tell them sitting across from Jasabell.
"I'm sure he's just tired today has been a long day." Jasabell waves away my concern.
"If you are worried I can check on him after dinner." Fin offers me.
"If you would that would be nice." I say as food is served. We sit quietly eating Finnick takes it upon himself to serve me ignoring a reprimanding look from Jasabell.
"Are we going to talk or sit here in a uncomfortable silence?" I ask after a while getting a surprised look from them.
"What would you like to speak about?" Finnick asks me.
"What you and your friends were talking about while the highlights were playing." I offer not exactly upset more curious.
"The victors are very close nit group most of us are like a family. We protect one another. If one of us needs something we help." Mags tells me smiling.
"What does that have to do with me?" I ask before thinking blushing brightly.
"You are a victor now Kara." Finnick reminds me with a crooked smile on his face.
"They were concerned about your well being." Mags informs me a smile on her ages face.
"They don't even know me." I state in confusion. Why would people I never met be concerned about me when people who I share blood with can barely stand the sight of me.
"Well those people have no reason to worry Karaline did absolutely wonderful." Jasabell says backhandedly stressing the words those people.
While Mags rolls her eyes and Finnick's green eyes flash with irritation.
"Did I really?" I ask testily almost snapping.
Me fighting a mental break is me doing wonderful. Sure.
"Why call them those people?" I ask turning my head locking eyes with hers.
"Some of them aren't exactly good people Kara. They are dangerous." Jasabell tells me before Mags and Finnick can say anything my eyes get hard.
"How am I any different from them?" I ask her.
"You are a little girl." She says as if it's obvious.
"A little girl that murdered 8 human beings. If that isn't dangerous I don't know what is." I mutter making them look at me in surprise and sadness.
"Please Kara stop talking like that. Jasabell stop talking." Finnick begs me before snapping at Jasabell.
"It's true and ignoring it won't change the fact that I'm a bad person." I tell them quietly.
"Karaline you are not a bad person." Mags tells me firmly.
"I killed those children in cold blood and I don't regret taking their lives." I snap at them.
"I'm glad they are dead. So I'm worse than 'those people'" I tell Jasabell making her face turn red.
"Stop now Karaline. Hold your tongue." Jasabell snaps.
"I wouldn't test me if I were you Jasabell. Remember what happened to all the others who did." I warn her.
"You both are going to let her speak to me like that?" Jasabell asks Finnick and Mags angrily.
"You insulted us and the victors. If you dislike victors so much I think you are in the wrong line of work." Finnick says but doesn't lose his normal charming disposition.
"I have nothing to explain to any of you especially not a child." Jasabell says huffing  walking from the room leaving us alone.
"I'm sorry." I sigh running my hand through my hair.
"I don't like judgmental people."  I tell them looking up to them.
"Thank you for defending us and the victors but don't put yourself down in the process please." Mags voice is pleading.
"I just want to get home and see Annie and Dylon again." I tell them chewing the asparagus on my fork slowly.
"We are excited to finally meet them." Finnick tells me catching my eye smiling.
"They will love you both. Dylon always liked you Fin he said you were like a super hero." I inform them fondly.
Finnick chuckles softly.
"Mags you will adore Annie. She is everything that's good in this world. She's always been a better person than me and everyone I've ever met that's for sure. Sweet... gentle." I tell her sharing a smile.
"They sound absolutely lovely." She responds.
"Oh they are even lovelier in person My words don't do them justice." I say my chest hurting from missing them.
We finish eating before Mags kisses my cheek.
"I'm going to bed. You both have a nice night okay?" She asks us.
"You too Mags." I say smiling at her. Finnick kisses her cheek sending her to bed. Finnick and I sit on the couches in the living room car there is a thick silence I shift uncomfortably away from him. The last time we were alone together we kissed. It feels like a lifetime ago not a month. He hasn't mentioned anything about it we both know there was nothing romantic about the kiss. It was amazing and sweet but not romantic. Saying it was a pitty kiss would be a stretch.
Finnick steps out for a moment excusing himself. He returns with a first aid kit.
"Hands please." He asks me sitting on the coffee table I look at him confused he hesitantly takes my hand getting a flinch in response.
I open them seeing the familiar crescent moons still fresh from dinner and the interview.
"I'm sorry I didn't even realize I was doing that." I confess looking at Finnick's face.
"Why are you apologizing to me?" He asks me cleaning the dried blood from my hands.
"You always seem to come to my rescue healing me and helping when I'm hurt. You've got to be tired of it by now." I say smiling softly.
"Not really tired of anything it's my pleasure helping you. I just wish you weren't in situations where I would have to heal you." He shrugs meeting my eyes before focusing back on my hands.
He puts some medicine onto the thin cuts on my hands.
"How long have you been doing this?" Fin asks me motioning to my hands.
"For as long as I can remember." I respond.
"My mom would punish me for losing my temper as a child so when I got angry I started digging my nails into my hands. The pain keeps me grounded." I explain to him.
"And how did it work?" He asks me looking at me in the eye.
"It worked until I heard an older girl teasing Nadia." I tell him remembering that day with a small smirk on my face.
"I'm sure that ended well." He laughs softly.
"Oh it did. I figured I was going to get in trouble for my hands bleeding all over my clothes anyway. So I bled all over my clothes and broke the girls nose." I say getting a laugh from him.
"I'm sure they just loved that." He says sarcastically.
"Absolutely." I respond we both break out into soft smiles.
"Was that the only time that happened it is there more?" He wonders sitting on the other side of the couch his body facing mine.
"There were more of course there is always more. It usually takes a lot to anger me. But when I get angry well you've seen what happens. The only thing that can make me want to physically harm you is if you have the intention of hurting me or you hurt my family." I say aloud.
"What did they do?" Finnick wonders amused.
"There was a boy who pulled Annie's pigtails at recess and broke her necklace. I kicked him in his crotch because he made her cry." I tell him getting another small laugh.
"The most recent time was when Dylon came home from school crying because a group of students were being mean to him and calling him stupid." My voice loses its amusement. Just remembering the tears on Dilly's face is enough to make me angry.
"That's horrible what did you do?" His curiosity clear in his voice.
"I found every single one of them and fought them." I say shrugging getting a laugh before he realized I was serious.
"You fought them all and did you win?" Amusement dancing in his eyes.
"Not all of them. After I would lose I would get stronger and try again until I did." I tell him.
A big smile crossing his face.
"Every time I think I have you figured out you just.... you show me a different aspect of your personality and it's just... you are a mystery to me Kara." He says as if trying to chose his words properly.
He looks at me in concern.
"Are you cold? You're shivering." He asks me scooting closer to me I inch away making him freeze.
"Ever since the arena I've been just cold." I say. He takes off the thick black sweat shirt he's wearing and hands it to me.
"It won't make the coldness go away but it's a start. Good thing we live in the warmest most humid district." He tells me sweetly making my heart throb and my body start to panic.
"Thank you Fin." I say taking the thin cardigan off and replacing it with his sweater.
"You're welcome Kara." He says.
Surprisingly, I do feel warmer but my body still shakes.
We sit there and rotate between talking and silence. Ever fiber of my body wants to never be touched again by anyone. Then my mind and heart crave physical and emotional closeness to Finnick and Mags. I love them. They make me feel safe. Finnick wishes me a good night walking with me to my room. I hate being alone. That's when the bad thoughts return.
"Sweet dreams Karaline." He tells me leaving me to return to the bad thoughts. When they leave that's when the nightmares come. They always come.