The Perfect Emma

Chapter Forty-One

Emma Mabel

"Divorce," Doctor Simon repeated Emma's words with his eyebrows raised up slightly. He tilted his head and gave her a soft smile. "That's a big change. Are you sure that's what you want, over marriage counseling?"

Emma nodded her head and shrugged, leaning over slightly to watch her therapist. He stared at Emma in thought before making another comment. "Emma... I've noticed that you've seemed relatively calm about the fact your husband had an affair and the divorce you've been mentioning. Though it's wonderful you're calm and collected over it, I can't help but feel that you almost seem... overly calm. Is there something on your mind, or...?" Her therapist trailed off.

With a smile, Emma shrugged her shoulders again but spoke. "It just... it doesn't seem real, you know?" Emma murmured. "Not in disbelief but like... my life with Arthur was like a storybook. Just a book I read and... closing it doesn't feel hard. It just feels like a story."

Simon nodded his head and remained quiet for a moment in thought before continuing to prompt Emma. "So your life before, with Arthur, doesn't feel like reality?"

Emma shrugged her shoulders for the third time. There was rarely ever a direct answer with her - and Simon knew it. "I suppose. It doesn't feel like reality."

"Then what is your reality, Emma? Where do you see yourself?"

The woman blinked her eyes and tilted her head slightly. That was one question she hadn't thought about. Her past with Arthur felt like just a story at this point... but her current reality? What was real? "The basement." Emma murmured. One thing she truly loved about her therapist was the fact that he didn't show any emotions on his face in distaste. He merely listened... and she needed that. "I see myself in the basement as reality. I see myself now, after Aaron, as reality." Emma shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts and glanced down. "I don't know... I know that saying seeing myself in the basement is more of my reality than my life before hand is wrong... but it is."

Simon gave Emma a warm smile and rested his chin against the palm of his hand, leaning over slightly in his chair. "It's not wrong. Going through a trauma like this can alter your reality, Emma. It's okay to be feeling these things and understanding them. It's important that you also learn to move past it as well."

Emma stared at Simon as he spoke to her and took in his words. It was while he was talking that a word popped into her head. "Alive." She said, blinking her eyes. "The basement... that dark place with Aaron... it made me feel more alive." Simon furrowed his eyebrows trying to understand what she meant. She elaborated. "I hated it there. God I hated being there with Aaron... but being in the basement made me feel alive. It made me cherish every breath I took and every step I made. I lived in constant fear but it made me feel alive." Emma paused and glanced away from Simon. "It made me feel more alive than when I was with Arthur."

Understanding what Emma was saying more, Simon nodded his head and gave a soft hum. "I see," He said with a smile, sitting up slightly. "I'm glad you recognised that, Emma. Being able to come to a realisation like that is a great step. However, I would like you to also recognise that even though Aaron pushed you to a point that made you feel more... alive," Simon used her word while continuing. "...it's still important that you come to peace with the fact that your life before Aaron is just as valuable and a part of your reality as after." Simon shifted the way he was sitting slightly and leaned forward. "I think it's important that you spend some time thinking about yourself and Arthur. Grieving and mourning your relationship is an important step that you shouldn't skip while looking into getting a divorce."

Simon... wanted her to be sad about getting a divorce with Arthur. Emma would have thought it was good she wasn't torn up over the fact that her husband cheated on her - but Simon apparently didn't see it that way. Perhaps Grayson wasn't all too off when he was shocked at how calm Emma was while mentioning he had cheated on her.