Unfixable

All About Lucy

Ben has given me this special pass so I can park the car on North Gower Street, where they are filming Sherlock. I am only visiting during the lunch break so the car will be out of the way during filming. Lucy is gurgling away in the back scrunching some baby toy that I got in the post this morning from my step-father; I really do think he has changed.

Blimey I can hear the fangirls from here, I show my ID/pass thing to the patrol officer and he lets me through. I pull into a parking space just outside 221B Baker Street, well the fake 221B Baker Street. The fangirls are screaming, they probably think I am some super star about to get out the car, they are going to be very disappointed. Some of the “cumberbitches” except me and are so kind to me but others hate my guts. Like Ben would go out with a fifteen year old girl anyway!

Suddenly my door opens. It is Ben with his adorable curly dark locks, I told him he should have his hair like this more often. To be honest Ben could pull any look off, apart from the Julian Assange look! He helps me out of the car and kisses my cheek with a “Hello beautiful.” He whispers this so that the fans don’t hear, I think they would probably have heart attacks if they heard him say that in that voice…I turn to peer at the fans, some look happy but others are glaring. I need to say something to break the ice.

“My, my Mr Holmes, we are looking very dapper today!” I exclaim loud enough for the fans to hear, some scream and others chuckle which attracts the attention of Martin and Amanda who rush over to greet me. I move around to the other side of the car and open the back door, to reveal Lucy which makes the people who could see her ‘awww’. I gently pull her out of the car, being careful of her supports on her legs which make the crowds mutter. Probably questioning what is wrong with her.

We’ve got to do something quick, otherwise people will just stare and I don’t want people to do that to my daughter. Luckily Ben is obviously thinking the same thing. He takes Lucy out of my arms and pretends she is an aeroplane before kissing her cutely on her nose. This makes Lucy giggle so he repeats the action a couple of times before passing her to Amanda who obviously wants a cuddle. Amanda and Martin are Lucy’s godparents, they have got really close. Benedict hugs me tight before dragging me to a table outside ‘Speedies’ Café’. I present to him a lunch box with sandwiches inside which makes him smile like a two year old.

He eats his sandwich quickly and then walks over to the barricaded sherlockians with a smile and his very dark sunglasses on. They scream loudly so he shushes them and says, “Shush Lucy is sleeping.” She is sleeping in her pushchair on the pavement next to me. The special pushchair just emphasises her illness, and the questions that are being asked are making me emotional. But I cannot cry. Not here. Not now.

I hear a fan shout, “Why has your daughter have a special pram and those leg thingys?” Wow sensitive, please note the sarcasm. Ben peers at me and I nod, signalling him to tell them. I look down at my now clammy palms, not noticing Amanda who has pulled a chair up next to me to…support me. I am definitely going to cry.

“My daughter, our daughter has a condition which means she needs the supports on her legs and her special pushchair to suit her needs.” I can see the pain in his face when he says it, it is heart breaking.

“What condition?!” Some noisy stranger shouts, I don’t think he is even a fan?!

“Erm…she has Duchenne muscular dystrophy. That’s all I’m going to say, you guys can go home and look it up if you are interested.” Silence falls, which is difficult because we are in Central London. “Anyway, we have a hit show to film.” He smiles and the crowd woops, that’s my cue to leave.

A put Lucy in her car seat and fold the pushchair up to put in the boot of the car. I secure the seat belt before shutting the door and a smiling weakly at the crowd before driving away.

\~.~.~.~.~/

Ever since I’ve put Lucy to bed I have been a nervous wreck. I haven’t stopped crying and I can’t stop thinking about my dear Lucy, hopefully Ben will be back soon. Knock knock. Who can that be? I open the door to see my step-father there grinning but his face drops when he sees me. “Y/n girl are you alright?” I step aside and he enters my home with a package. “I just came to give you this week’s issue to read through before it is printed, but if this is a bad time then I can go?” I shake my head and he looks around the apartment before passing me the package. “Is that Lucy’s room?” He asks and I nod, “Can I go and see her?”

“Yeah sure. Just please be quiet, she needs her sleep.” I follow him into the nursery and he peers over the edge of the cot and grins. We stand there in silence until…

“What the fuck is he doing in here?!” Benedict shouts which causes Lucy to scream and begin to cry.

“Benedict I just wanted to-” My step-father begins to explain but is cut off by my angry husband.

“No! Get out!” He shouts, “He abused you y/n! And you let him in the same room as our daughter?!” I am speechless, he is shouting at me and Lucy is crying…jesus now he is pushing him out of door. Why can’t he behave like an adult?!

I calm Lucy down before heading into the living area, my step-father was kicked out and Ben is cooling off in the bathroom. I can’t help but let the tears fall, I am so emotional at the moment I cannot help it and Benedict has just been such a jerk. I blow my noise into a tissue and wipe my eyes hearing the sound of the bathroom door click open. I sink into the sofa as he perches next to me. He attempts to wrap his arm around me to comfort me but I push him away and stand up abruptly. “Y/n?” He says but I walk into the kitchen and pull out a bottle of wine. I unscrew the top and pour myself a large glass. He follows me in and looks confused, why is he being so dumb?! “Y/n what’s wrong? Is it about the fans earlier on today?”

“No Benedict, it’s you!” I exclaim and taking a large gulp of pinot.

“Me?”

“Yes you! You have just been such a jerk just coming in shouting at me and him, causing Lucy to wake up and then shoving him out of the door!” I can’t help it, the anger just flies out.

“That man is such a shit, he abused you!” Benedict shouts, his voice is louder than mine and carries more so I am worried that he is going to wake Lucy up again.

“In that room just then you were the shit! He wants to start again, he wanted to see her. You should have seen his face it was such a beautiful picture to look at! It is like he fell in love with her just by seeing her face! He didn’t judge like your so called fans!”

“What the hell! If it wasn’t for me, you would still be working for that bastard because you didn’t have the spine to confront him without my persuasion!” That did it, Lucy is now bawling loudly but he is just ignoring that is now shouting about some random stuff. “…when she died I was there for-”

“Get out.” I hush, his face turns blank and he is stood there still. “Get out!”

“Fine you know what, I made a mistake coming back here!” He shouts before slamming the door shut.

A/n please tell me your thoughts so far!

Do you trust the step-father (jeez I need to give him a name)?

I am going on holiday tomorrow for two weeks but I will try and update while I'm away but I am not promising anything :) ~ Mae xXx