Soul Mates

Utter Truth

Anna (POV)

I cried that day. I don't think I ever cried so hard in my life other than the fact I was raped. Now for sure Aidan is going to kick me out.

How do I tell him? Do I even tell him. How could I. My life is over. He was so upset when he thought I had fucked that boy on my own free will, how will he be once he finds out I am pregnant with someone else's child.

Hell if I was put into his position, I wouldn't want to see a child, a reminder of what had happened.

I was pacing back and forth in my room. The paper now all crumpled up as tears had flowed none stop.

It was so hard to breath, I was trying gasps the air, to grasps the situation. The fact is I am pregnant and it's not even his.

I was now once again curled up into a little ball rocking back and forth. Leaving the hospital the Doctor had prescribe me some prenatal vitamins.

He could also sense my apprehension that he had the nerve to give me options such as abortion, adoption or other things that will not be name.

Maybe abortion wouldn't be bad now would it. I could try going the route without Aidan finding out. Who would want to bring a child that came from rape and humiliation.

I thought a child should come from two people who are in love.

This child will only be a reminder of what had happened to me. This is all my fault. Why did Josh do what he did. Why are men like that. Do they seek pleasure in other people's suffering.

He knew how I had felt about Aidan and yet...he was my friend. I trusted him.

Looking at myself in the mirror, his touches still burned into my mind and skin. Now how can I bring a child into this world knowing I was taken by force.

What would I say to the child if he or she ask how they were conceive. The child would hate me too. Hell I hate me. Aidan will hate me and the child. Pulling at my hair I screamed silently.

Maybe I could wait, and he eventually he could grow to love the child on his own then break the news to him. He would love the child then, right?

I couldn't do that though, it be like loosing a child for the second time. I didn't want to give him false hope. I had remember when he was so happy he was going to be a dad.

I even prayed every night that this child turns out to be his.

I have decided, I will tell him this Friday.

*****

Come Friday It was dinner time. I had prepared a nice feast.

Sitting at the dinning table with Aidan by my side, I could see he was worried about something. "Is something on your mind? " I asked.

"Actually there is. You have been acting strange these past few days."

"Oh, why do you say that?" My smile was force but I take it he knows.

"You have been feeling sick, you sometimes zone out like you are with me but you are not."

I had forgot he is very observant especially when it comes to me. How could I tell him though. I had rehearse in the mirror of what to say but in the end it comes out, him walking out on me.

"Anna." Aidan cup his hands on my cheeks.

"Oh, huh?"

Feeling his big hands I felt warm. "Like right now, where did you go?"

"I was just thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"I love you, you know that and do you love me?"

"Where is this coming from, you know I love you."

"Even if I do something that might make you upset or..."

"Anna is there something you want to say because right now you're scaring me. You're not leaving me are you." The pain in his eyes casted on me.

"What! No! I would never leave you." But you would or might leave me, I spoke to myself.

"I would never leave you. How could you...why would you even think that." His voice was warm and caring. Crap did I say that out lout.

And I am here about to give him news the could be either good or bad.

I casted my head down seeming to pay more attention to the peas on my plate, "Actually Aidan I'm pregnant." I blurted.

The happiness and joy soon revealed on his face. And I know I am just going to break it. "This is wonderful news." He smiled, "For a minute I thought you were leaving me or had cheated on me." No probably not those but it will soon feel like that.

"Aidan the baby is not yours." I mumbled.

The look on his face soon change to that of an angry person. He didn't speak no word so I proceeded, "The baby was conceived the day of my birthday." Aidan's jaw dropped. Fury has now replace his once excited joyful expression. "Say something." Though half of me wanted him to say something, the other half wanted for him to eat his dinner quietly. That however was not the case.

"What the hell do you want me to say? That my girlfriend is pregnant with another man's baby? Are you sure it's even his?" I could sense he was trying to control his words, trying to control his anger so he wouldn't say something he would regret. And I for one regret it, regret everything.

I nodded my head nervously, "I went to the doctors with Linda and here." I gave him the paper which he read.

Running his fingers through his hair he got up from his seat unexpectedly. "Where are you going."

"Out! I need time to think.

My worse fear, he actually walked out on me while I sat there praying he would come back.