Backstage Pass | 5SOS

17

JULIANNA

It was later, quite a lot later and I was still formed in to a little ball on the couch in the backroom. I had been crying for what felt like hours, just laying there thinking about how I wanted to be alone and how I missed my home. I was getting major homesickness and I was far from going home.

How was I going to stand on a stage for the upcoming two months that were left of tour. How was I going to act happy even though I was really sad on the inside. I was not okay and I didn't feel alright. 

Sadly this wasn't the type of job that you could just call in sick to. But I felt awful, honestly like I had to throw up. Luckily I didn't, that would've made this situation even worse. 

The bus suddenly came to a stop, making me look up. I saw we were in the parking lot of a Burger King which made me groan. I know it was slightly hypocrite since I ate fries yesterday after the show, but the thought of unhealthy food honestly made me feel sick again. I was craving home cooked meals and vegetables. I missed home so much.

There was a soft knock on the door, making me jump, I hadn't expected to be interrupted during my agonising time of being alone and crying over a boy. 

"Julia?" Luke said softly, waiting for my response. He didn't wait any longer and just continued talking, "we're at Burger King, you want food?" He asked, making me scrunch my face together. 

"I'm not hungry." 

"Come on you have to eat." 

"I don't want to." I spat back, pulling the blanket back over me and laying under it, hoping to fall asleep. I just wanted to sleep the pain off.

How could Calum do this to me? I had only been interested in him for a few days, yet he tells me we can't be together and my heart breaks in a million pieces. Who was going to glue them all together? Calum wasn't going to, and the other boys were probably going to dance on top of them, breaking them up even more.

I was not going to be the girl that broke the band up or drove them apart, but I also didn't want to be the girl that let them walk all over me. Sadly that is exactly what had just happened and I was completely done with it.  

I had thought about calling my mom, but because of timezones it was midnight in Los Angeles  and I couldn't just wake her up. At least I wasn't in a life threatening situation. 

"Jules, what do you want to eat?" Ashton knocked on the door. I groaned, throwing one of the couch pillows to the door. "I am not hungry!" I yelled afterwards. I heard soft footsteps leaving, which probably meant he wasn't going to try again. 

Hopefully they were going to leave me alone after this.

It didn't take them long until they were walking out of the tour bus and over to the Burger King. I could see them through the windows, but they couldn't see me because the outsides of the windows were tinted. I noticed them looking towards me for a second, but then walking further.

Luke said something whilst putting his arm around Calum which made him smile, he nodded in agreement. So Calum was fine? He wasn't as heart broken as I was? Well that's great to know, my heart was now broken in to around a billion pieces. I just stared at them, walking around all happy like nothing was going on.

I turned my head back and stared at the little backroom I had made mine. 

Then I realised this was my chance to get out of the room for a little while without getting interruptions from the boys. I got up and unlocked the door, softly peeking my head out to see if the coast was actually clear. I then rushed towards my bunk to get my blankets and pillow, no way was I going to sleep in my bunk tonight.