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The song above has the perfect sound for this chapter 😌 it's Learning To Breathe by one of my favourite bands Switchfoot. Their music is so relaxing or upbeat and perfect to listen to while writing :)

I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need you
This is the way, this is the way that
I'm Learning to breathe

2746 words

"He's really gone."

Chesca heard the low murmur from where she sat on the bed. Closing the lid of her laptop, she uncurled her legs and lifted her eyes to Kaiden where he stood shirtless and looking out the window at the warm spring night.

Hopping lightly off the bed, she made her way over and wrapped her arms around her mate, resting her cheek against his back, against the scars on his back. Not knowing what to say, she just held him, hearing his heartbeat through the lungs, spinal cord, and thick muscles that separated it from her ear.

He continued in a deflated tone, the words vibrating through his body, "You're going to say it's my fault, and I don't blame you."

"No..."

"But...Elah did this to himself, as much as I wish I could blame someone else. My father, maybe..."

"Your dad?" she pulled back and peered around his broad shoulder to see his face. It was ashen in the light of the moon, anguished and weary. The muscles that corded his neck and shoulders were tense and strained. Lifting her hands, Chesca glided them over his bare skin, feeling him relax under her touch. In a way, she too was soothed by this contact, and the secure feeling settled somewhere in her heart, filling another of the many cracks.

"He never cared what Elah got up to over the years. But I should've seen it coming, and you even warned me." The darkness in his eyes as he stared down at her wasn't from lust or desire like she'd seen before, but from a deep sadness. Grief. "I see it all now, though. His recklessness. How arrogant and heartless he was. Dad always encouraged him, by saying how you should go out and take what you wanted from the world, because life wouldn't just hand it to you."

Pondering his words, she couldn't help but wonder if Kaiden carried some of the same family traits. If that was the kind of father who'd raised them, it might not just be Elah who'd been infected with their dad's cruel and heartless perspective on life. What if the man she was holding was as merciless as Elah, just more clever and deviant about it? The cunning look she'd first seen in his eyes all those weeks ago when they met, was still lurking in the depths of his irises somewhere. Maybe she'd been blinded to it. Maybe the bond they shared had tempered it, but it still remained. She knew first-hand what tragedy could spark in someone, what revenge and ferocity could push someone to do or become. Especially to a man with such power and strength as Kaiden.
One with such little to lose.

"Most people will tell you that the pain of losing someone gets easier with time. But it never does. We just learn to fill the hole with other things. Other loves," Chesca cupped his cheek with her hand and tried to soothe the frown lines between his eyes. "I'm here for you, Kaiden."

"I know," he nodded and sat on the window seat, pulling her closer. She stepped between his legs without hesitation and wrapped her arms around him. She couldn't explain the feeling of comfort and desire that burst to flame within her as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He inhaled deeply, clearly trying to calm himself down. She could feel his muscles relax and melt against her as his chest deflated in a heavy sigh.

Lowering her face to his hair, she breathed in and realised his scent and warm touch were nearly just as overwhelming for her.
Did she trust him? Not really, but it was hard to be wary around a broken soul like his was right now. Did she want to love and comfort him like a mate should? A huge part of her was yearning to, as she rubbed his back tenderly. It was just in her, a part of her nature and genetic make up, to offer comfort and kindness to her mate. The tears fell silently down her own cheeks as she shared in his heartbreak.
But there was, of course, another large part of her that wondered if this was all just part of a sick plan...

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