Stop |Min Yoongi X Reader

years

Years have passed. Yoongi arrived home from the studio stressed having to tell you something. The kids are 4 and Yoongi is about to hit thirty.

Y/N POV
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Yoongi came home stressed. Obviously not about work as it's the most easiest thing for him. "What's wrong Yoongi?"  I asked. He looked down. He stood quiet for a few seconds then looked at me. He had tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry Y/N" he hugged me tightly. I felt so confused. "Why what happened?!" I felt very worried at this point. "Its my turn.. to go into the military.." he said. My heart pounded like if it was gonna explode in any second. "How long.. again..?" I wiped a tear that was about to drop from my eyes. "Two-" Yoongi didnt finish his sentence. I dropped down crying and sobbing hard. I felt like I couldnt breathe.

~☆
Today was the day Yoongi was going today. You felt the sharp pains as he finally left goodbye. You felt like running after him. The guys tried and pulled you back but you didnt let the stop you. You ran to Yoongi hugging him tightly. "I'm gonna miss you. " you clinged onto him like a koala. Once it was time he left. You broke down yelling and screaming you could see Yoongi from a distance crying and looking back at you. The guys helped you up dragging you to the car. You couldnt stop yelling- screaming. Namjoon hugged you closely. Jungkook was crying too. He kept looking back at you. You stopped crying because you knew your loud sobbing was causing Jungkook to break down in tears.

~♡
WARNING : The next parts are pretty triggering and have self harm and attempts of suicide.
Day by day grew worse for you. You would grow depression and bad thoughts. You had anxiety. Sure he wasnt going into anything really bad but you still felt so worried for Yoongi. You would cry yourself to sleep most nights. Once you got letter from Yoongi you felt even worse. You started self harm. You slit your wrists. One cut.. two cuts.. four..  You wore long sleeved shirts to cover them up. You felt like your world was gonna end. A year passed. The first christmas without Yoongi. Jin returned, Namjoon and Hoseok work gone. It didnt feel the same when Jungkook and Taehyung ran around playing harshly with Hoseok when Namjoon was acting like a parent and telling them to be careful. You imagined Hoseok jumping on the sofa pulling Taehyungs soft hair and Taehyung yelling for Jungkook to help while Jungkook laughing hard on the floor like a little kid he is. You felt tears on your cheek. You wiped them up as Jin called your name. "Y/N here is your present" he faked a smile. He knew the pain you were feeling. You tried and lighten up seeing as the guys were sad because you were. You felt like dying. Every day grew worse for you. You thought about suicide. You didnt do it though.
×-×▪♡
Every day. Breathe Y/N you could do it. No dont do that, Yoongi doesnt wanna see you fat when he gets here. Dont do that you stupid cunt! No your doing that wrong what is wrong with you!? You felt like you were doing everything wrong. Your boss kept yelling at you. You felt broken. One of your co workers were worried and started telling you advice to go to the doctors. You do what you were told. You told the doctor how you were feeling, he said it was because of the car accident,   that the affects were still happening and they can be going then coming back, and they maybe permanet. He prescribe you with some depression pills along with anxiety. You looked at the stupid pills. Should I overdose? You shook your head no and took the dumb pills. You didnt feel anything at all. You felt like nothing could help you. Sure you would have some smiles but you remembered it's all because of those stupid pills. Six months came by fast. You were ready for another six months to pass. You felt like you couldnt wait any longer. You looked at the pills. Yoongi wont like a dumb girl who takes pills, you thought. You started to cry and not take them for a couple of weeks.

Everything started all over again. Your boss kept yelling at you. "Why didnt you do this correctly?! You were doing good for the first time?! Now you screwed up! Do this all over again!" He slammed the paper on the table. You just stood there. "Move now!" You did what your told. Bitches are do what their told, you told yourself. You didnt redo the paper. You knew you were gonna get fired so you were forced to. You handed your paper in and left right away as you were suppose to 30 minutes ago.

×●~
Months have passed. Yoongi is suppose to come home. You wanted to go but you couldnt because the boys wanted you to stay for a surprise. They were doing a photo shoot though, it was on top of a tall building. The managers were there , they kept staring at you. You had no one to talk to. You were walking on the edges looking at the busy road. Should I jump? You kept on putting your foot out attempting to. You checked your phone the boys said they are going to be up there soon as they are on the 18th floor (the top) You ignored it and put your phone down. You wanted to jump. Just jump Y/N no one is gonna care anyway. You heard chatter from behind. You put your foot out. You were gonna do it. You looked back as you saw Yoongi. He saw what you were doing. "Y/N No!!!" Yoongi came rushing towards you. You lost your balance. Yoongi caught you just in time. He saw the tears on your face. "Baby I cant do this no more!" You broke down in tears trying to pull him away from you. He kept hugging you too tight. You felt him silently crying. Your sleeves were rolled up from how he grabbed your arm. He saw the cuts. "Baby why would you do this" he cried and kept on shaking your arm yelling at you. His yelling made things worse. "I've failed you!!" He went on his knees starting to cry. You looked down at him as he was shaking and crying. You felt bad. "I'm..so..rr..y" you had a hard time speaking from how your heart rate was going. He noticed you were starving yourself from how skinny you were. "Baby dont ever .. EVER do this again" he held you tight. "You'll never know where life will go if you end it baby..." he looked at me again and hugged me. You kept on trying to push him away. You felt so sad. "Baby dont push me please!!" He begged. "How long has it been like this..." he asks. "Two years.. " you mumbled. "Since I left?" He asked. You nodded, yes. "Baby .. no.. never again. I promise I'll never leave your sight again.  No matter what happens.. never" he hugged you tight.

~▪
Guys this is really important. If you are having suicidal thoughts,  feelings or vibes know that someone out there loves you. And will miss you, and it would be such a disappointment if you commit. I love you. So dont say no one does. If your having suicidal thoughts have someone to talk to. You can always talk to me.
Here is a suicide prevention hotline :

1-800-273-8255

Know that always someone cares.
If you ever do commit. Someone else will be sad because of it. Dont do it. Know that someone is always out there to talk.

You are not alone.
Stay strong my loves.
"You'll never know where life goes if you end it" - Shane Dawson.

UGH
But on a Jsjrnsinde Note I will make a different version of this chapter that isnt so depressing. I just needed to make this chapter to let you guys know you arent alone, dont walk alone. There is ALWAYS someone , somewhere always out there to help

Stay healthy, stay safe
I love you❤