Deer in the headlights (Zak Bagans story)

Facing facts

Georgia -

Aaron was funny. He kept making me laugh by pulling stupid faces, trying to cheer me up. But nothing could distract me from the man I'd grown so fond of. "You seem soooo.... Far away. Distracted, I mean." Aaron had suddenly become my psychiatrist. He leant back in his fold up chair and raised one eyebrow. "What's on your mind?" He asked, his voice deepened with curiosity. I couldn't decide whether to tell him or not, I mean, he's a stranger after all. He waited patiently for me to reply "I'm having man problems... its complicated" I couldn't look him in the eyes. "For a second I thought you were confessing to the issues us guys suffer but the whole 'it's complicated' thing makes sense." He started advising. I thought, for a moment, that he was just going along with my complaining until he said "If you like the guy, go for it. He must be special if he's having this effect on you. We wouldn't be having this conversation if he wasn't" I felt relief as I listened to someone give me advice for once. "...or the chick, if that's your thing" he shrugged. I couldn't help but smile. "I'm cool with two ladies doing the do. That stuffs awesome" he grew lost in his words. "Okay Aaron, you've said enough. Thanks. And yes, its a guy" I laughed. It felt good talking to Aaron, it felt soothing.

Our bond was just beginning to grow when The door to the Crew Van was drawn back. Both Aaron and I stopped in mid conversation and turned to the intruder. "Georgia, can I have a word please?" It was Zak. He looked unsure. "Whatever it is, you can say in front of Aaron" I was now comfortable with Aaron's presence. "Georgia, please?" He tipped his head in the direction of his car. "It looks important" Aaron muttered beneath his breath. I sighed and stepped outside of the van to then step inside his car. It was fancy and very American. Some kind of 'dodger' or something, I never looked properly. The inside was a mix of leather and suede material. Black and red. The dashboard was covered with neon lights, dials and twisty button things. It was a sexy car and very distracting too. As I ducked inside, the smell of fresh leather hit me along with the sweet scent of Zak. "Georgia, what I'm about to tell you is very important" although I wasn't looking at him, I could feel his eyes burning into my skin. "Georgia!"

"Nice car" I said, oblivious to the man next to me. He leaned in closer to me. "Listen, I've got to leave today. I don't-"

"I bet this cost a fortune to insure. I can't even fathom gas prices-" I interrupted.

"Georgia! Aren't you listening to a single, solitary word I'm saying?!" He began to raise his voice and move closer to my face. "Yes!.." I snapped. "Yes I am listening. Although I wish not to be, I am fully aware of what is happening, Zak! I've been avoiding the subject for some time now. I'm trying not to..." my voice broke from shouting and possibly from the closeness of my tears. "You're trying not to what? Go on" his face was scrunched with anger. "I'm trying not... to fall in love with you. At least I tried. But I guess I'm too late" I allowed the floodgates of my emotions, to collapse. The car was silent. "I'm playing with fire, Zak. And sooner or later I'm going to get hurt, badly hurt. Burnt in fact." I couldn't look at him, the tear-walls were preventing me anyway. "I'm suffering from partial burns now, just sitting here, telling you this" any moment now I was about to burst into tears.

"Don't cry. Please don't cry" he whispered but everyone knows that those words make everything worse. My lip began to quiver and I was no longer able to see through the built up tears. "Look at me" his voice had softened. He placed one hand on my cheek and turned my head to face him. "Ho-ly shit balls!" He said, staring at me with a look of shock. "What? What's the matter?" I panicked.

"I've never seen such a jaw-dropping creature in all my life. I've got goose bumps right now" I turned to look and see what he was seeing but the hand on my cheek rotated my face back around. "If you could see what I'm seeing right now, you'd understand why I don't want to leave. Maaaan!" He started smiling. I couldn't figure out what he was talking about...

Zak -

I had honestly found myself in a trance, just gazing into her eyes. The tears that had filled up her eyes had dramatised her sexy doeness. The browns were lightened and her pupils had grown big. One, single tear was balancing on her lower lashes that were long enough to never need mascara. I felt a lump in my throat from just staring into the windows of her soul. The hand on her cheek felt that same tear tumble down onto my thumb. Man did I feel guilty for even turning up to this place. I had to physically stop myself from crying too. "Are you going to tell me?" Her voice was all choked and broken. She looked frightened and vulnerable. "Yeah. Pull down that visor and you'll see what I mean" she was hesitant to do so, after all, it was an odd request. She linked her index finger on the edge of the visor and pulled it down. She looked confused "Zak, its just a mirror" she frowned. "Exactly. I rest my case" I slipped my hand down by her's which was clenched between her knees.

"Come here Georgia. Let me wipe that tear" I placed my right hand on the side of her cheek again and ran my thumb against the tracks of her tears. Before she could speak a word, I pulled her close and kissed her. I could feel her lips trembling and the tears falling from her eyes. As our lips unlinked I could hear her fighting the sobs. "Come here, sweetie" I wrapped my arms around her as best I could. There wasn't a lot of space in the car as it was, let alone with us two locked together. 'What can I do to help her through this? Maybe I should stay behind for a bit?' I kept asking myself. Either way, I couldn't stay forever.