Nirrin (Forestfolk, Book 3)

Chapter 23

The rushed farewell with Meresh was full of warm hugs and grateful thank yous. Members of his tribe took turns squeezing my hand, and even patting Fen's arm.

A tug on my dress made me look down. Kibi stood there smiling up at me. "Thank you," she said. It was the first smile I'd ever seen on her face, which sported a missing tooth. She touched Fen's hand. "And thank you."

She faced Tessia, eyes shining with gratitude. They shared a silent moment, where I imagined they had a telepathic conversation. Then Kibi wrapped her arms around Tessia's middle and squeezed. "I'll visit you someday," I heard her whisper.

Tessia's gray eyes misted as she squeezed back, smiling.

I couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of bond these two had formed in their short time together.

"Hey." Pimo came into view, for once not looking annoyed or pissed off. "Thanks for not getting everyone killed."

"Same to you," I shot back.

He gave me a grudging smile, nodded, and left.

Mykis stood nearby, fidgeting as if unsure how to approach. "I'm glad you were right," he finally said.

"You were right too." I gave him a reassuring smile. "You should trust your instincts more often, even if it disagrees with someone else." I cast a meaningful glance in Pimo's direction.

He smiled hesitantly. "That's what Chief Meresh says."

I grinned. "A wise man."

Niralessa's getting impatient, Tessia informed me.

I looked out to the retreating group. Niralessa stood watching us some distance away, waiting with arms crossed, while the rest of her group ambled farther away.

"Ugh, that woman!" I glared back at her. "What does she want?" A guilty pang immediately needled at my heart. What she wanted was not within the realm of possibility. Not even Siena could resurrect the dead.

I blew out a sigh. "Fine. Let's go."

"You have a place among us, anytime you like," Meresh called out as we departed. His gaze encompassed my Gifted companions. "All of you."

I waved my thanks.

When we caught up with Niralessa, I asked her, "Pleased with yourself?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

I opened my mouth for a retort, but was struck by the strangeness of it all. Was this what it was like to argue with me? Was I really that similar to this green woman with the quick temper and passionate viewpoints? I'd been brought up within a framework of kindness, respect, and caring parental figures, despite lacking actual parents. If I'd grown up the way she did, would I have turned out the same?

Niralessa hadn't had much, and then Corin was taken away from her. Sure, it was her own fault, but still. I wouldn't wish that kind of loss on anyone.

"Tell me about my father," I said. The word felt so strange on my lips. "I would have liked to know him better."

A grim smile somehow made her look even sadder, and her face took on a faraway demeanor. "He was . . . amazing. Patient. Conscientious. Kind. He had the fighting skills of a month-old bear cub, though." She shook her head with disapproval. "But he never ended up in fights like I did. At least, not until . . ." Her wistfulness darkened and she fell silent.

"Fen's a lot like him," I said. He trailed behind us with Tessia, out of earshot. "Except for the bear cub thing. Something tells me he could crack some skulls."

She smiled a little. "He has."

"But only because he had to, right?" The thought made me shiver a little. Violence seemed so unlike him.

She sidestepped a clump of thick grass and gave me a sideways glance. "You really like him."

"I really do." An odd thought popped into my head. "If you're my mother, and you raised him like a son, that doesn't make him my brother, does it? Because that would be weird. And gross."

Niralessa chuckled. "Why is everything complicated with you?"

I balked. "Complicated? I'm not complicated. I like Fen. I like people getting along with each other. And I'm relieved no one died today. How is that complicated?"

She shook her head. "You stick your nose where it doesn't belong."

Her little barb pierced my heart, and I decided to be mad instead of sad. "Why are you so eager to point out that I don't belong with you or your merry little band of misfits? Why doesn't it matter at all that I'm your daughter?"

"Because you—"

I waited for her to finish, but she didn't. "Because I what? Talk too much? Disrupt your enjoyment of charred meat?"

She sighed. "It's not about you not belonging with us. It's about you being able to belong somewhere else. Somewhere better. Safe. We don't have that option, but you do."

What if safe still left a hole? I wanted to say. But that might make me sound ungrateful and bratty.

"Nirrin." She stopped walking and placed a hand on my arm. "I didn't throw you away."

My throat felt thick, and I couldn't quite meet her eyes. "I know," I said quietly. "I just . . ." Just what? What was my problem?

With a sad sigh, she resumed plodding through the grass.

Fen and Tessia had politely walked around us, and now stepped several paces ahead.

What had I been hoping for when I trekked through the forest with Fen to find her? A joyous reunion? She wasn't exactly warmth personified. A reason for my existence? No answers there. To feel like I belonged to someone?

I paused. Could that be it? Was I floating through life, dissatisfied because no one would claim me? What about now? Would Niralessa claim me as her daughter now that she'd met me? She didn't really seem to. I still felt like an outsider around her.

It didn't escape my notice that Niralessa had veered away from me and now walked with Minocken. I couldn't blame her. Bren once told me—during a fit of utter frustration—that I was like a bad meal, causing headaches and indigestion. I'd laughed it off then, but what if it was true? What if—

A big, warm hand slipped through mine and squeezed. I'd been so lost in thought, I hadn't noticed Fen sidling up next to me. Tessia had joined Niralessa, perhaps to talk about whatever was expected of her. I had a brief pang of guilt for my role in that.

"Did Tessia tell you I needed company?" I asked him.

He smiled and shook his head. "I have eyes. I could tell you were having troubling thoughts." He squeezed my hand again. "I did ask her what you were thinking, though. She wouldn't tell me. Said if you wanted to tell me, you would."

"She's right. She's a good kid." I bumped his shoulder. "You were thinking about me?"

He reddened a little. "Yeah."

I gave his hand a giddy squeeze. "Like, what kind of thoughts?"

He peeked at me and looked away. "I was wondering if you'd stay with me. With us."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. Fen wanted me to stay with him. Wanted to hang around me more often. Someone wanted me.

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

I looked over at his worried face. "Because I'm too busy squealing inside!" I flung my arms around his neck.

"So, that's a yes?" His voice sounded hesitantly hopeful, as if he was afraid he'd misunderstood.

"Yes!"I said without thinking. At this very moment, I didn't care about anything but this gratifying feeling of finally belonging to someone.

Aww, that sense of belonging is a satisfying feeling. Almost as satisfying as voting. ;)