We were reckless.
How did we get from kissing to you pinning me to the wall to us both on the floor in a tangle of limbs?
We made an explosion that day, Park Jimin.
And now, we are suffering the consequences of it.
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I couldn't stay away from you long.
When I put on the hoodie I found myself in an amazing paradise.
I was an inside garden, crystal glass walls rising from around me and arching in a high dome above me. People walked around here and there, admiring the spilling life of green around them. Deep violet anemones, blue poppies, lilies, and roses bloomed everywhere along with other exotic plants and ferns. Somewhere, water trickled.
And then you were there.
I didn't see you come up behind me.
But you crushed me against your chest and buried your face on top of my head.
You no longer reeked of alcohol, but once again smelled faintly of oranges, soap, and something purely you.
"I messed up," you whispered. "I'm so sorry. I was so afraid you wouldn't come back.... I was so afraid I messed up beyond your forgiveness."
I missed you, but I wasn't ready to forgive.
I slowly stepped away and turned to look at you.
You had on a big, light red T-shirt and wore ripped jeans.
"Where are we?" I asked softly.
"In Costa Rica," you shrugged a little, but I could see the slight spark of excitement in your eyes. "My dad decided to take us here before he officially headed to Croatia. We're going to be here for a week."
You took my hands in yours. Your hands were so small, but mine were smaller.
"Let me show you the beauty of the world," you whispered to me, eyes wide and desperate, the excited glint long gone. "You've experienced the crap side of the world, but I want to show you the not so crappy side. I want to see you smile, every day. I want to be the cause of your smile."
I wanted to tell you about the possible cure. I wanted to embrace you. I wanted to feel your lips upon mine once again, Jimin.
We never kissed after that one day by the poolside.
"You drank," I said softly.
You didn't let go of my hands, you just squeezed them.
"I was in so much pain," you replied quietly. "I thought my parents were going to break apart."
"My dad left me when I was ten," I told you.
"I won't be like him," you promised me. "I made and am making mistakes, yes. I'm human, baby. But I won't leave you."
My heart leapt when you called me baby again, but my face didn't show it. It was just deadpan.
"So if the pain becomes too much I can drink?" I asked like a little girl.
"No way in hell," you shook your head.
I finally gave the tiniest of tiniest smiles.
"Let me show you, baby," you leaned forward so our foreheads touched and noses brushed each other. "I want to show you everything."
