Don't Leave

Chapter 19: Time Ticks Away

-Jake-

My eyes fluttered open and I began to freak out.  As I looked down to see that Christina was still in my arms, sleeping away. I released a heavy sigh and leaned my against the pillow. 

She was still in my arms... it's okay... it's okay. 

I felt some movement, and looking down I could see that she was finally waking up. her eyes slowly fluttered open and then it was shut once again before reopening. 

I smiled down at her as she tried to make of things. her eyes went up slowly to my face until it met my own eyes. "Hey" I whispered to her. 

She blinked and then sat up, which I allowed her too. "I must've zoned off..." she said looking everywhere instead at me. I did not like that one bit, so I reached over and grabbed her chin and lightly lead her over to face me. 

"Don't shy away. I don't care that you zoned away... I zoned away as well.." I said as a small chuckle escaped my mouth. 

She blushed and slightly nodded, her gaze was still on me as mine was as well. Smiling, I dropped m hand from her chin and stretched my aching muscles. 

She looked down to see that she was still indeed on my lap which caused her face to erupt in a more redder color. It was like a  vampire of how fast she moved out of my lap to the spot next to me, causing me to chuckle under my breath. 

"I'm going to go to my room..." she whispered and before I could say anything to her, she was already out of the room. 

I smiled and leaned my head back against the seat. "So you don't remember huh? " I whispered sadly before clearing my throat. 

It was already obvious that she would not remember what I did to her when she was not awake. 

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-Christina-

 I leaned against my door, and my heart was hammering fast against my ribcage. I slowly raised my hand to where my heart was located at and clenched my fingers together. 

I heard what Jake said that I don't remember... but I do. I remember the kiss, his soft voice that sounded so hurt... and mostly the single tear that fell on my cheek as he poured his hart out to me. 

I dropped my head and slowly slideed down until I was sitting on the cold ground. I wanted to shout out to him that... that I do remember what took place. 

I lowered my head until it was against my knees. Breathing it suddenly changed into hectic. I felt wetness soaking my jeans. 

Even though what he put me through.... my heart will still be with him even if I told him that I did not anything to do with him... but I do. I really do. 

I raised my head and it lightly hit the door as I stared at the cieling. I tried to control my tears from falling... but it kept on going. 

I hurt him...

I really hurt him. 

I knew that I hurt him even more considering the fact that we are mates... and just thinking about how much pain he gets in seeing his mate dying is hard...

 After I calmed my tears, I stood up and slightly tipped over. My hand grabbed the bedpost as support and I clenched my eyes. My other hand suddenyl touched my head. I gasped out in pain, and felt the urge to vomit. 

I covered my mouth and tried my best to hurry to the bathroom. Just in time, I was there and already had my mouth in the toilet, vomiting my entire life out. 

Red and even more red comes out. It was coming out non-stop causing my pain to erupt to even more throughout my entire body. 

After what felt like an eternity, I collapsed beside the toilet and was heaving. Everything hurt... it really hurt. 

The only things that was running through my mind was is this my last breath of life? Will I not have a chance to see everyone for the last time? 

Is this my punishment for hurting Jake? 

Tears fell out of my eyes and landed on the cold floor. I tried my best to wrap my arms around my body seeing as I was getting really cold as the seconds tick by, but my arms were just laying limp in front of me. 

Then I felt the numbness creeping over my legs as it slowly made it's way across my stomach. From what I was feeling, my heart would be hammering hard as my breath would be matching the beat, but all I could feel and hear was it beating steady.... and slow. 

I guess my body was accepting everything right now...I felt really helpless. My brain was telling me that I should try and get help or anything to inform someone n the pack that I was in pain. But my body on the other side is telling me to just lay back and relax then it will be all over. 

My eyes suddenly closed by themselves, and I could see the memories that I held with everyone. It was like a film, a film showing me that I lived a welcoming life and that it was time for me to move on and accept a new one... 

I could feel the corners of my lips quirking up into a soft small smile as I watched every memroy replay. But I could also feel the numbing coming to my throat and then suddenly...

It disappeared. 

All there were was the darkness. No memories. Just plain old darkness that I was use too. In the background I could hear the ticking of the clock and inside my head, i could hear my own heart beating. 

Is this what I will hear before my heart ends? 

That question kept going over and over in my head until it suddenly came to stop... I can't do this anymore... so far my body has chosen this for me and I should accept it right? Fighting it will only cause my body to weaken even more. 

So I simply laid there... 

Waiting for the moment where it will come, then as if answering my prayers, I could began to hear and feel my heart beat slower than usual, then... I could finally hear the silence. 

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