Isolated. {Lams}

Chapter Thirty Eight

^^ That's the Pride hat I got complimented on :)

Alex Pov
"Whatcha thinkin' bout?" John asked, obviously trying to get his mind off his stomach.

We hadn't eaten in two days.

I don't know what happened to the cracker guy, but he definitely wasn't here. I've been underfed most of my life, and I don't want to get into it anytime soon, though at the moment..
it's not really at my choice.

When John asked that, I almost instantly said, 'Food.'

But that wouldn't help either of us so I went with,
"Army."

John scuffed his hair a bit and asked, "What bout the Army?"

Shit.
Time to unpack those messes of stories I guess.

"..Um.."

Shit what's a good one?
Why do I always forget what happened when he asks but at random times will just remember everything fucking picture perfectly?

"Right after getting out of a trench, we were immediately hit with Afghan soldiers from all sides. I remember a man in our troop shouting,
'If I see anyone dead without blood on 'em at the end of this, Ill rape your corpses!'
And then he processed to run into battle with the rest of our troops, shouting and screaming.
It was chaos, really.
And I was scared shitless.
That was my first time fighting in Afghanistan, and I was mortified.
Sure, I was just a doctor, but I was still eighteen. Barely an adult."
I told John, pulling up my sleeves.

I don't have bandages anymore, but a large scaring cut on my wrist.

John sighed and put his head in his hands. He looked at me and groaned.

"How the fuck aren't you hungry?"
He asked.

Damn it John, I'm hungry as all hell.

"Don't worry about me. I'm used to it," I said, not necessarily lying, but it wasn't the full truth either.

lThat doesn't make me feel any better." He groaned.

"I want to fucking die." I muttered, curling into a ball, and balling my shirt in my hand.

A woman walked by and John begged, "Please! Please spare any change, I haven't eaten in days!"

She sneered, walking off a little quicker. John groaned and looked like he was going to cry.

I looked over at John, and noticed the bags under his eyes, his hair disheveled, his face covered in dirt and shirt winkled.

"Hey..
wanna go into the corner shop and go to the bathroom?
We could try to like..wash our hair and look like mid class human beings instead of falling below the poverty line," I said.

He sniffled and nodded.
We got up, walking to the corner shop. I wanted the cracker guy to be there, but was immediately let down by the empty counter.

John stopped.
"What if..if we just..stole from the building?" He said.

"John, we shouldn't do that anymore. It's not right," I said, as much as it pained me to say it.

He groaned and followed me to the bathroom. I put soap on my hands, and rolled up my pant legs, trying to get dirt off myself.

John did the same in the sink next to me.

At the end of our little 'clean up' we both still looked like shit, but less like kicked puppies.

Okay.
We didn't look like kicked puppies before but it's better than describing ourselves dirt covered, looking like death and near starvation situation.

"I think I'm going to throw up even though I ate nothing." John said, gagging softly.

Shit.
What if he's sick?!
If he gets sick while we are on the streets I wouldn't be able to help him and..
and I need him!

"Hey, it's alright,"
I said softly, pulling him into a hug.

He shook his head.

"It's not and we both know it."
He said, sniffling.

"Once we find out if we got those jobs, our world will change, okay? This is just the bad part, and we're going to be alright in the end. I know we will."
I told him.

"Yeah but what if we aren't Alex?
What if we don't make it?
What if one of us gets sick, or dies because of starvation, or heatstroke? What would happen then, huh?"
He asked.

"We won't, okay?
We won't." I said.

"You're not very convincing."
He muttered.

"Guess you'll just have to trust me, won't you?" I told him.

He sighed, letting go of me.
"Want to hear a joke?" I asked.

He glanced at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Well? Do you?" I asked.
He shrugged, smirking slightly.

"Give it a go kid."
He said.

"Alright, where do whales go to listen to music?" I asked him.

He thought for a moment.
"Don't know." He said at last.

"The orca-stra. Get it? Because orcas ar-"

"You're a fucking idiot."
He muttered, chuckling.

"Want to go back to the bench now?" I asked.

"Sure."
He replied, walking out with me.

I tried not to get any more upset over the fact the cracker guy wasn't here. John grabbed my shoulder and pulled me close to him. I draped my arm around his shoulders.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am you're here with me." John said.

"Likewise."
I replied, sitting down on the bench.

"Tomorrow will be a better day."
I told him.

"I sure hope so."
He muttered, curling into a ball and slowly falling asleep.

I did the same.

With no food and nothing to do, sleeping is my default to drown my pain.