Isolated. {Lams}

Chapter Forty

Alex Pov
In the past weeks of working, John and I are slowly getting more financially stable. Note the word slowly.

But it's better than before.
I mean, really anything could be better than before but I'm going to assume you know what I'm getting at.

Yes, we are still being underfed, but our option of clothes has gotten slightly larger and we aren't on the brink of starvation every time Dylan isn't around.

"What's today's date?" John asked, running his hand through his hair.

"February..
eighth? I think."
I replied.

"Oh."
He breathed, watching people walk down the road.

John does that a lot now.
He watches the cars,
the people,
the birds,
and pretty much everything.

He's quite observant, and I find that pretty cute.

"Why do you ask?"
I said, crossing my legs and pretending to be as observant as him.

"Four months." He replied.
"...Four months?" I asked.

"Until June. By then we'll be able to get an apartment. Based off at least my mental calculations. I may not be right, but it's gotta be around May through late June until we are financially stable." He said.

"Right."
I muttered.

"Stop staring at me. It's weird. It's causing other people to stare at us because you're staring at me." He said.

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at the sidewalk.

"Well fuck me then."
I mumbled.

He glared at me, then went back to looking down the road.

"What would you do if a burglar came up to you and said 'If you want to live, gimme all your money'?" I asked.

He looked at me strange and muttered, "You come up with the weirdest fuckin questions I've ever heard."

"Yeah, but what's your answer?"
I asked.

"Bold of you to assume I want to live and have money." He said.

"Oh my."
I breathed, uncrossing my legs, and pulling them up on the bench.

"Why are you unable to sit on chairs correctly?" John asked, watching me adjust me sitting position.

I shrugged.

"Isn't it painful to seat criss cross on a bench?" He said.

"Um..no?"
I said, putting my hands in my lap.

His eye twitched and he whispered, "How?"

I giggled, shrugging.
He smiled, and pulled me into his chest. I let myself collapse against his lap.

He ran his hand through my short hair. "Only four months?" I asked.

"Mhm."
He hummed.

"Hey John, guess what?" I asked. "Hmm?" He murmured, an eyebrow raised.

I sat up quickly and pushed him off the bench. He fell off and yelped.

"I'm not cute unless I plan to push you off something." I told him.

He glared at me, sitting back down. He pushed me off the bench. I got back to my feet and slid back onto the bench.

"You deserved that." He said.
"I deserved that." I repeated.

"I remember you told me about this, but I forgot the story. What happened between Dylan and you?" John asked.

I was quiet for a moment.
Fuck my ex.
Not literally because..
he sucks.

"He uh..said he wasn't gay anymore. After two years of dating me, he decided that he wasn't gay anymore. Which makes zero sense to me." I said.

"Did you love him?" John asked.

"Yeah.
Yeah I loved him.
He..didn't feel the same apparently. Which makes me even more mad because he..He was my first." I told
John, watching people walk by.

Anything to not look John in the eyes while telling him that. Out of the corner of my eye I saw John turn his head to me.

"Right." He said, his voice almost monotone.

"He wasn't like..a bad guy, I think he was just real confused honestly." I told him.

John nodded, sighing.
It was silent between us.

"Four months." He said.
"Four months." I repeated.
~•~•~•~

Okay. This was a short chapter,
mainly because I have a lot on my mind at the moment.

After going through a lot of thought, I think..

I'm trans.
FtM.

I came out as bi already and I think..
I'm going to come out tomorrow.

I'm nervous, but excited.
I don't know how it's going to go or what's going to end up being said but I do hope it goes well.

Your friend,
Your best friend,
Your brother,

~S.SGlasses