Gang Of Gays MxM (Staten Krown)

5

I watched from a distance.  Fidel was crying.  His tears were silent but he was still crying.  I stood in the back.  I felt like it wasn't my place to really say anything about this.

They were lowering the body into the ground.  The funeral was really touching actually.  My mother had decided to accompany me to the funeral for moral support after I told her what happened.  It meant everything that she was there.  Seeing the turn out for the death was even more dramatic.

A young person...dead to an act of selfless violence.

"The service was beautiful," my mother stated.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Are you going to be ok?" my mother asked me.

I just stood there shaking at that moment.  I still hadn't gotten over it.  I still remembered the sounds of the gunshots breaking out.  I still remembered everyone running.  The police hadn't caught the men who had done the shooting.  I had a feeling they weren't even trying.  How does a hate crime take place on a grand scale like that in natural day and barely make it to local news.  No one cared.  Gays were being targeted and they were being exposed of.

I couldn't take it.

"He was so young," I replied.

Fidel was crying at the front as the casket was lowered.  There were other tears as well.  Everyone was pretty upset.  I had to admit I felt like crying too.  I felt like screaming.  I just felt like going and hiding under a rock.
Gay lives didn't matter.

"You see why your dad was telling  you to be careful?" my mother asked, "You shouldn't have gone to something like that Shay.  You shouldn't have put yourself in harms way.  Stuff like this is happening more and more often.  It's not safe to be a gay man in America anymore.  You should know that..."

"Mom.  I didn't bring you here to be lectured," I replied.

"Shay—"

"I'll be back.  I actually am going to mourn.  Which is what this is for."

I walked away from my mother.  I knew she meant well.  I knew she was worried about me.  All that meant the world to me but at the same time I felt angry.  I felt upset.  I felt like there wasn't anything that my mother could really say to me that would make this better.
I stood behind Fidel.  The pastor was said a few words.  A hymn was sung and then everyone started to disperse.

"I can't believe Lamont is dead," a voice said from behind me.

A hand came on my shoulder.  I turned to see that it was Miguel.  Lamont had died instantly that day.  Lamont was the one in the casket.  Lamont was being lowered and all of  us were just looking in awe that something like this could happen.

I looked over at Miguel, "Are you ok?"

"We are all kind of torn up about it," Miguel replied, "Fidel and Rashad were a lot closer to Lamont than I was clearly, but I still made friends with him.  This is fuckin' crazy..."

Rashad was on the other side of the grave.  He was crying in a much more dramatic way than Fidel was.  He was wailing something fierce.  Some people who I figured had to be his family were around him.  They were trying to calm him down but Rashad wasn't having any parts of it.  He pulled away from them and let out a eerie scream that filled my heart with the deepest mourn possible.  At that moment I felt so bad for him.  I knew Rashad and Lamont were more than just friends.  I wondered how close they had actually become.  I couldn't relate to the kind of emotion that he was going through and at that moment Lamont's infidelity was the furthest thing from my mind.  All I could see was pain.