lifesick ; homin

ť h r è ě

{ trigger warning !! }
self harm is mentioned in this chapter !! pls don't read it if you're uncomfortable !!

changmin again, being forced to eat that horrible food. he may be hungry but, you know what, he is fine with being starving to death.

he let out a huge sigh before taking his swiss army knife, given from his father in case of protection just in case people would try to rape him. ridiculous, but other than the fact his parents are overprotective, his friends are extremely more overprotective and clingy.

he draws the knife to his wrists, before thinking,

"maybe i should see him and say goodbye, "

changmin stops before he can get off his bed. he suddenly remembers his stupidly action three days before.

he mentally slaps himself before walking shamelessly to his favorite spot in that hospital. at least.

he founds a familiar figure, sitting on his bed right next to the window they had conversation the other day.

but this time, he is more beautiful than usual, with only hospital rags as his clothes-- not that he notices what the other was wearing the whole day, but why would the other wear a hospital rag when he wears hospital uniform.

moving on, what makes him different is his new haircut, it was short-- in a good way. he was revealing his forehead more with that hair slicked up, making changmin breathless.

and he was reading a book, which makes changmin wonders how he can be so effortlessly beautiful by just reading a book ?

he mans up before walking slowly towards the other, that was waiting for him, unknowingly.

yunho can only afford to smile before putting down his book he was reading, before locking his eyes with changmin.

there's nothing different about changmin anyway, he still looks like a frightened deer, that has found his way back to the forest.

cute, yunho thinks changmin is cute. who doesn't ? with changmin's brownish hair that effortlessly hanging low to his forehead, his big round eyes, and perfect height for his body.

not to mention, changmin looks like one of yunho's students, which yunho is a kindergarten teacher. well physically, changmin does looks a little bit young but he sort acts like a kid.

judging from how he fidgets when he talks, yunho just can't stop smiling when the other sits right next to his window.

" i wasn't expecting you to be here after what you sai-"

" well i came here to find some peace, but if you really would like to be such intereptor, i would gladly leave, "

changmin states, making yunho chuckles.

" don't leave yet. please keep me company till my operation. " yunho replies back, placing his book that was on his lap, next to the window.

" wanna know something ? " he wasn't expecting for a response but he was amused on how the other looks at his eyes with full of excitement, just like children's.

again, yunho scoffs before continues,

" i planted all of these flowers, "

but this time, he didn't get the respond he wants, instead he gets a little snort from the other.

" believe it or not, i have been in this hospital for a mean time though, longer than you would imagine, "

yunho plays with his nails before staring into changmin who was listening to him attentively.

" and why is that ? " the other asks, his voice was soft and slow tone.

" enough with me, let's talk about you and your wrists, and more importantly why would you hide a swiss army knife in your pocket ? "

yunho was being so detailed that he would like to take it all back.

" wait, how do you know ? " changmin abruptly jumps from the bench, surprised by how would the other knew about that.

" judging from how you fidgets and touch your pocket every time you take a step forward, it's kind of obvious, "

changmin was speechless, he doesn't know that the other has a sixth sense- or maybe he actually doesn't ; or he just cold read changmin out of nowhere.

" perhaps, do you actually want to see me for the last time before you, " yunho pauses before he brings his fingers close to his neck and pretends dead.

changmin was silenced by yunho's assumptions, he was right after all. he can't even deny how that man looks so attractive doing so.

" tell me, what was your name again- right, mr. shim. have you ever put yourself in your parents' or maybe your friends' shoes ? "

changmin looks down to his sweaty hands that was fidgeting the whole time, he was slightly touched. he doesn't even know why would he feel like crying in front of stranger.

" i don't even know you, mr. shim. but i an sure that your loved ones would feel sad when you're actually, gone. because i would, "

changmin can't hide his tears anymore, he moves slowly towards yunho's body which was inside his ward before he bents down. leaning onto yunho's shoulders.

he was crying, onto a stranger shoulders. never in his wildest dream. but he is doing that, right now.

yunho can't move- one ; because he was flabbergasted and didn't expect changmin would react this way.

two, he could die of this pure cuteness in front of him.

but he successfully gather all his guts and courage to pat the other's soft head.

" can i call you changmin, mr shim ? "

the other only nods, he was embrassed, but he loves the other's cologne and the mix of the scent around them.

changmin stands straight up, facing yunho's face with his red-teared up eyes.

" do you ever feel like you can't do anything but die, sir? "

changmin was awfully polite,

but before yunho could reply, he can't help but notice some thick red fluid dropping from changmin's wrist.

changmin already cut his left wrist.

" because this is what i feel right now, " changmin says before he collapses onto the bed of flowers behind him.

" mr shim ? mr shim ! changmin ! "

it was the last words changmin heard and yunho's voice is still echoing and lingering inside his head.