▪️runaways → nct jaemin fanfic

10 ✧ 전아름

Jeon Areum's POV

We spent the next week driving around in the motorhome. First off we all decided that instead of rushing straight to find my potential mum we should lie low for a while and camp out in the countryside. We'd stop in places like abandoned car parks and fields, and one time even on the beach, and sleep there for the night.

Whilst living in the motorhome we've experienced our fair share of injuries; Chenle burnt his finger whilst trying to cook tteokbokki with Jisung, Jeno fell down the step leading outside the van, and pretty much everyone in the bunks has banged their head at least 50 times because they're not used to the space being so small.

Everyone is convinced Renjun and Jeno are dating. Every morning when we wake up they're in each other's embrace, cuddling up together like a newly married couple. When Jisung called them out one time Renjun retorted with a "fuck off it was cold last night" and that would be the end of it. None of us would believe them though.

I know Jaemin and I also sleep next to each other, but everyone knows it's because they made us share a single bed, and that there's no space whatsoever. Because we've slept next to each other for a week now, we don't have individual smells anymore. We both smell exactly the same. There is only one smell, and because we haven't showered in a while, that smell is disgusting.

I remember asking Jaemin to spoon, and at first I thought I was insane. That's what couples do. What if he gets the wrong idea? But then that first night as I was lying in his embrace my heart filled with a warm glow, and I felt really happy. It's kinda weird and hard to explain, but maybe it was a sense of protection? Comfort? Maybe even... Feelings?

This progressed over a week, until I finally decided that I had growing feelings towards Jaemin. I'd never felt this kind of way towards any other guy before, but maybe these feelings were just bonding on a sibling level, but then again, what sibling's heart races when they spoon their brother? That's creepy as shit.

I always had that suspicion that I was falling for him, but I spent most of my time pushing the thought to the side, paying it no attention, because I didn't want to believe it. Not because I didn't like Jaemin, that's far from the truth, but in fact it was because I believed he deserved someone much better than myself. I've never been in a serious relationship before, so what if I get bored? What if I end up hurting his feelings again? I don't think I could bear to look at that same face I saw at the party, that face that figuratively tore apart my entire being.

But then, him having so much impact on my thoughts and feelings must mean something? If I feel this strongly about him then would being with him actually work? But that brings up the question as to whether he still likes me or not, or even if he liked me in the first place? All this thinking could in fact be worthless if he doesn't like me, and if I do confirm my own feelings how am I supposed to keep my cool if he doesn't think the same way?

Well, I guess he must've been doing that this whole time if he has liked me.

I decided to speak to Haechan about it, telling him about my heart and it's strange actions. We had stopped for the night at the side of a country road, away from any sign of civilisation, and so I pulled Haechan away from the group and behind the van to speak with him.

At first he just blinked a couple times, asking me to repeat myself, but after I did so he burst out laughing.
"What the fuck's so funny you asshole!" I whisper yelled, shoving him hard in the shoulder.
"The irony!" He cried out, clutching his knees, still laughing. "I can't believe it."
"Knock it off." I mumbled. "The whole fucking world doesn't need to know."