▪️runaways → nct jaemin fanfic

16 ✧ 정호석

Jung Hoseok's POV

"My gosh," Mr Han sighed, a sad and sympathetic look on his face. From the looks of things this seemingly cold man was feeling a strong sense of pity towards me; I was always good at putting my feelings into words, sometimes I think I should write songs.

"It feels like I've lost my own children." I confessed to him. "There's just this hole in my heart, this emptiness that clings to me. Everything feels different now; the air, the rooms, the chairs. Everything I touch, everything I smell, everything I see. It's all shrouded in this dark cloud of misery, and it just follows me everywhere."

"Everything hurts."

✧✧✧✧

It was safe to say that I was a little confused when I woke up the next day. Someone was shaking my shoulder, the floor was cold and hard, and I had the world's worst headache.

"Hoseok, wake up." Sungjin's familiar voice helped me come to my senses, and I slowly pushed myself off the floor, opening my eyes.
"What happened last night?" He asked, crouched beside me in the floor.
"Oh my god." I exclaimed, looking round at the mess I'd made. All the kids toys were broken. It was all my fault.

I felt a large lump form in my throat, and my eyes started to well with tears.
"What the fuck have I done?" I sobbed, curling myself up in a ball and hiding my face in my knees. Sungjin rubbed my back from behind, telling me not to worry. But that's all I could do. How could I be so selfish? Now none of the kids can ever play with these toys again, and it's because of me.

"Sungjin? Did you find him- oh!"
Two more workers in the orphanage, Jackson and Dahyun, came in a few minutes later. They both rushed over once they saw me on the floor, but by that time I'd dried my tears - with Sungjin's help - and I stood up to face them.

"I'm so sorry everyone." I sniffled. "Last night... I drank.. a lot. I came back here and broke everything in a rage." I couldn't look them in the eye, but they just stood and listened to me. "I'll spend the day cleaning it up. I'll buy new toys, I'll sort it out before the kids get back from school I promise, I'll-"

"Hey, don't pressure yourself with all that." Dahyun smiled. "We'll all help you clean up when we're not on nap time duty."
"I don't have a busy day so I can go out to the store and buy more toys for the kids." Jackson offered.
"Guys," I sniffled again. "You don't have to, it's my fault, I'll-"

"I can't imagine you can do much with that hangover." Sungjin sighed. "And I doubt you had a good enough sleep last night on this hard floor." I couldn't say anything, I just kept sniffling.
"We won't tell Mr. Han about it either." Dahyun added. "You're going through a lot right now, and expecting you to work in a place that reminds you of them all the time is so harsh."
"Everyone here knows how close you were with them." Jackson continued. "And it's okay to not feel okay."

"Just please come to us if you need anything. A hug? Someone to talk to? Anything, we'll always be here." Sungjin reassured me.
"Guys... thank you so much, for everything." I felt another tear, but wiped it away. "Seriously. I don't deserve any of you."
"You deserve everything Hoseok." Sungjin smiled weakly. "Now let's get you some hangover soup."
"Wait- the kids!" I suddenly called out. "I didn't wake them up! What time is it?"

"8:30am." Dahyun replied. "Don't worry, we did your section of the dorms when we noticed you hadn't come out of your room yet. All the kids have eaten and have left for school."
"Yeah," Jackson smiled. "We thought we'd give you some space after yesterday, we just weren't expecting you to not be there, you know?" He laughed, patting my back.