Fundraiser guy: You look like you're having fun!
Friend 1: Oh, no, I hate this and wish for death.
**
Boy 1: [Boy 2 and Friend 2] were about to fight yesterday!
Boy 3: Did you get involved, break it up?
Girl: No, he was about to fight them.
**
Boy 1: Can we just take a - [Girl] just said, "If he does a handstand, you have to unzip your pants."
*
Girl: If you do a handstand, I'll give you a candy bar!
Boy 1: No! ...What kind of candy bar?
**
Friend 2: He's short and used to be fat...ter...
**
Friend 1 used to keep peanut butter in her locker and had two boys on either side of her with peanut allergies. We were discussing what would have happened had their allergies been airborne.
Friend 2: You would have killed two people!
Friend 1: Yeah...that would have been awkward.
Me: Awkward?
Friend 1: I mean, I probably would have had to go to the funeral.
Me: You would have had to go to jail!
YOU ARE READING
Weird Things I Heard in School 4 | ✓
HumorThis is just getting ridiculous. // I'm going to make some changes to how these books are structured so we don't run through them so damn fast...There will be more "HIGHLIGHTS!" chapters to fit multiple funny things into one chapter. I will also be...
