Weird Things I Heard in School 4 | ✓

APUSH DUMP 4

Teacher: [My other son] is kind of an a-hole. Sometimes I wanna roundhouse kick him in the face but I don't. Because it's illegal.
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Teacher: The 90s was a time of cults. If you ever meet someone and he's like, "Hello, I'm Jesus Christ," go the other way. If you go with him, you're gonna die bad. It'll be rough for you.
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Teacher: *after a five-minute rant* ...and from that moment on, I decided that I hated Kenny Chesney.
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Teacher: Has anyone seen her?

Girl: No, she's sick.

Teacher: Sick of you.
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Teacher: I can't spell, I gave it up for Lent.
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Teacher: That was a good idea. I'll take back two mean things I've said about you.
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Teacher: This is a drawing of a bus. What do the wheels on the bus do?

Class: *monotone* Go round and round.

Teacher: Correct.
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Teacher: Blanco chocolate.

Girl 1: Actually, it'd be chocolate blanco...

Teacher: Shut uuuuup.
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Girl 2: Go to Target!

Teacher: Oh, you mean fancy Walmart?
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Teacher: I don't know if the first dishwasher was some guy named Fred who lived in your kitchen, but there you go.
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Friend: I need to blow my nose, do you have tissues?

Teacher: I have a spoon. Would that help?
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Teacher: Anyway, from Leona Lewis to the Vietnam War. Here we go!
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Teacher: I think 35% of soldiers were using heroin, that's not good. So anyway, one day, he's selling me druggos on the street -
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Teacher: We're going to play a little game called, "Would I have been murdered by the Khmer Rouge?"
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Teacher: I went from 0 to psychotic in 0.23 seconds. I like that!
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Teacher: And then there's Morgan Freeman, aka God.
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Teacher: If President Trump said, "Today is National Ice Cream Day!" the Dems would say, "I'm lactose intolerant."
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Teacher: Every day we took the subway and stopped at Foggy Bottom. Which made my kids giggle every time, maybe because I was laughing.
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Teacher: My favorite thing is falling upstairs! "I'm not going to step on that step, I'm going to step on this step twice!"
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Teacher: We have nine days until the test. Single digits! That's fun for me. I don't have to take the test. You're the fools who signed up for this crap!
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Teacher: People get mad about the airplane security X-ray, like, "They're taking videos of my body and sharing them on the Internet!" I'm like, "Go ahead. All you're gonna see is muscle."
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Teacher: You guys are smart! And if you guys don't know it, then some dum-dum from...I'm just gonna say it, South Carolina!