Mabel's Guide To Dating
-Camera's POV
*sitting down in a table surrounded by plushes*
Mabel: As we all know, I am a dating expert. In fact, I can't get the boys to leave me alone!
*static, then shows Mabel out the window holding a cardboard cutout of a boy*
Mabel: "Mabel, I love you so much, baby!!! Why won't you let me into your life?!?"
*static, then shows Mabel back at the table*
Mabel: You know what you did, Zac!!! *focuses on the camera* Today we're gonna test the date-ability of three of Gravity Falls's swingin-est bachelors!!!
*shows Soos, Dipper, and Stan each sitting in a cheer*
Mabel: Soos!!!
Soos: *facing the side* Get ready to fall in love, America!!! Am I- am I looking at the right camera?
Mabel: Dipper!!!
Dipper: Who are you even making this for?
Mabel: Grunkle Stan!!!
Stan: I'm only here because you promised bacon!
Mabel: Eh! *throws bacon at Stan*
Stan: *catches the bacon in his mouth and eats it* I'm pacified.
You: To be honest, they all suck at dating, but my money's on Soos.
Mabel: And now for a simple nine-thousand question dating quiz!!!
*static, then shows each guy answering a long paper*
Stan: "Should men always pay for dinner?" What is this, Russia?
Soos: "How many kids would you like to have?" Seven, preferably! That's one to love every day of the week!
Dipper: "How do you treat a gal?" Hm, well hovering nearby and laughing at everything she says, obviously! *writes on the quiz* Nailing this.
You: ... oh boy.
Mabel: While they're busy working, we give you: animal dating!!!!
*show three clips of Mabel forcing animals to get together as she gets hurt in the process, then a cardboard cutout square with the word Results and shows the three bachelors each in their chairs*
Mabel: *holding a list* Grunkle Stan, on a scale of one to five, you scored a three.
Stan: Yes!!! Yes!!!
Mabel: This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers, and convicts.
Stan: I still consider this a victory!
Mabel: *walks over to Dipper* Dipper, your score is-... eesh!!!! You know, scores don't really matter, you should just focus on being you...!
You: Yikes, he failed that bad?
Mabel: *walks to Soos* Soos, on a scale of one five, you scored-... a twelve?!?
YOU ARE READING
The Phoenix (Gravity Falls Dipper x Reader)
FanfictionDipper Pines thought that a summer in Gravity Falls with his twin sister Mabel and his weird great uncle Stan working at the Mystery Shack would be the most boring summer ever. Until he met a certain girl who wasn't the slightest bit normal. Key: ...
