You Have No Idea What I'm Capable Of

Chapter Sixteen

For the twenty-seventh night in a row, Emma soundlessly closed the door to the mayoral mansion and slipped out into the cold New England dawn. The blonde tightened the jacket around her body and brought her hood over her head to keep out the brisk wind. Emma shuffled through red and yellow leaves, which had fallen to form a colorful carpet on the pathway from Regina's house to the street. Once in the car, Emma turned on her heater and waited to warm up before driving home.

How this had become their routine the sheriff had no idea. After their first and only official date the mayor had waited a few days before inviting the blonde over for another "after dinner treat." Following three days of dessert only encounters, the mayor surprised Emma by actually asking the sheriff to have dinner with her and Henry. Regina invited the blonde back for dinner every night for a week, and then it just became an unspoken agreement. The trio would have dinner and Henry would do his homework afterward, or if he had already completed it, they would sometimes play a game or watch a video. When Henry went to bed, his mommies would go off to Regina's room and fuck like rabbits until the sun came up. The sex was spectacular, but rarely soft or gentle.

It was all very cozy until the sex was over and the sheriff was expected to leave. It wasn't as though Regina had ever kicked her out of bed, but she never once asked Emma to stay. Regina never let herself drift off to sleep in the blonde's arms. Never held on to Emma a moment too long. The arrangement was never discussed and they never gave what they were doing a name. There were no titles. No labels. No more talk of dates.

Every night Emma waited for Regina to have her breakthrough and admit her more than carnal feelings for the blonde. Every night Emma tested the waters by trying to slow the pace of her touches and kisses, only to hear the mayor beg her to go harder or faster. Despite what Regina said with her lips, her dark brown eyes said different, and most nights that was enough to keep Emma warm and hopeful. Tonight was not one of those nights. Tonight Emma felt hollow and unsatisfied. Tonight was one of the times Emma contemplated actually confronting Regina about their "relationship," and giving the other woman an ultimatum. The blonde didn't of course. She was too afraid to lose what little she did have of Regina. Too afraid that the brunette would push her away. Instead Emma hoped that they would morph into something more concrete as she trudged wearily into her apartment.

"Good Morning." Mary Margaret said from her seat at the kitchen counter. Damn it. Emma cursed herself for having taken her time in getting here and not being able to sneak in undetected before her roommate awoke to start her day.

"Morning!" Emma feigned an energetic tone. The dark circles under the blonde's bloodshot eyes betrayed her faux exuberance and Mary Margaret felt a little pang of pity for her friend.

"Didn't want to sleep over Regina's place?" Mary Margaret asked casually.

"I don't want Henry to see me staying over, so I just woke up early and snuck out before he got up." Emma was so tired she hoped that sounded like English. Mary Margaret played along.

"He's almost eleven Emma. I'm sure he's not fooled." Mary Margaret smiled, hoping the blonde would think she believed her story.

"I just don't want to confuse him. I'm not always sure I understand it myself." The blonde's mental exhaustion caused a little bit of truth to shine through the haze.

"Well, do you think your progressing toward something?" Mary Margaret saw the opportunity and pounced, feeling only a little guilty that the blonde was vulnerable from sleep deprivation.

"I don't know. . ." The blonde trailed off for a moment. "I thought so, but she just keeps herself so closed off. I don't know really anything about her, like who she really is . . . I don't know anything about her parents, where she grew up, her first love, her dreams. . . I mean I don't even know why she decided to adopt Henry. Why didn't she have her own baby? Can she even have kids?" Emma's tone was more exasperated than angry. It was as if she had been holding back a torrent of questions.

"I know this is pointing to the obvious, but what do you think will happen if you just ask her questions. I mean not all those questions at once like a crazed paparazzi, but when it's just you two. . . like after you've been . . . Intimate?" Mary Margaret barely whispered the last word feeling embarrassment flood her skin. For some reason the idea of Emma and Regina having sex made her sort of queasy. It wasn't the gay thing - she just couldn't imagine Emma being naked with anyone.

"Yeah right." Emma scoffed, a glum expression clouding her face. She shook her head after giving it some more thought. "No." The blonde continued although her friend hadn't said anything else. "She'd probably freak out on me." Emma shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I have to be more patient." Emma concluded and dragged her body to the couch where she flung herself into the soft cushions and was asleep in less than a minute.

"Delivery!" Ruby's voice jarred Emma awake and the blonde jerked violently, almost falling out of her chair.

"Hey!" Emma smiled and quickly wiped the sleep out of her eyes and a little bit of drool off her face.

"Where you sleeping?" Ruby said with a laugh.

"No." Emma lied. "I just put my head down. . . I have a . . . headache." The blonde quickly glanced around the sheriff's station to be sure no once else had seen her drooling on her desk.

"Oh, I called your cell, but I couldn't get a hold of you. I brought you over some lunch since I haven't seen you around the dinner in a while." Ruby placed a clear wrapped sandwich on the sheriff's desk.

"Thanks Rubes, that's really nice of you." Emma gave a sheepish smile not sure how to react to the gesture. The blonde wasn't used to being treated well, and it always made her a little awkward to accept kindness even from friends.

"Don't mention it. . . I do have an ulterior motive." The brunette admitted with a smirk. "I wanted to see if you wanted to go have a ladies night! Mary Margaret is in and even granny said she could use a beer!" Ruby's smile was wide and generous.

"Uh... I'm sorry Ruby, I just don't think I can make it." Emma said with apologetic puppy dog eyes.

"I didn't even say when it was going to be." Ruby looked deflated and her smile was gone.

"Oh! I just figured you meant tonight!" She lied.

"It's actually Friday. It's ok though don't worry about it. Maybe another time." Ruby started walking away and Emma felt like an asshole. Emma was never the kind of person that abandoned her friends but she realized that's exactly what she had been doing the last couple of months.

"I'll be there!" Emma shouted resolutely. Ruby stopped dead in her tracks and turned with a thousand watt smile.

"Really? Are you just saying that with the intention to bail later?" The brunette's smile retreated slightly.

"No." Emma laughed. "I'm not going to bail. Meet you all there at ten?" Ruby nodded happily and reached for the door to the sheriff's station and held it for a few moments without moving.

"You can bring her you know." Ruby said looking back in Emma's general direction with an unreadable expression on her face.

"What?" A cold shiver ran down the blonde's spin.

"The mayor. You can bring her."

"Why would I bring her?!" Emma's reaction was too over-the-top, and her response come out in a high-pitched shriek.

"Don't lie to me Em. I already know." Ruby still hadn't turned to fully face her friend and was staring at a blank wall in front her.

"I . . ." Emma felt like she had been hit in the gut with a sledgehammer. She didn't want to keep lying, but she couldn't tell the truth.

"I don't know why you wouldn't trust me enough to tell me. I would never betray your confidence Emma." Ruby's voice made her hurt feelings clear. "You don't even hide it that well." She said finally turning with a meager crooked smile.

"Ruby it's not that I don't trust you. I do. It's just a little . . . complicated." Emma was ringing her hands still not sure whether she should be admitting anything.

"Listen. I get it. The mayor is pretty hot. It's alright. . . But tell the woman to let you get some sleep. You look like shit." Ruby's smile retuned although it was a much dimmer, and with a wave the brunette was out the door.

Emma should have felt relief, but she didn't. If Ruby had figured it out - who else knew? The nervous energy carried Emma all the way trough to quitting time when she grabbed her stuff and traveled the familiar route to the mayoral mansion.