The Things We Couldn't Say

Chapter : 19

Maya

I woke up to the alarm of my Samsung phone and wanted to throw it across the room because it was getting on my nerves but not the phone though. I couldn't
turn it off because I left it on my study table that is across the other end of room.

Snuggling into  my pillow, wanted to pray since it was the time but yet I was unable to get up. I felt my eyes close and inner voice tells me "so you want miss
your fajar (Morning Prayer), He  will be sad if you do. You want to burn in hell...Remember the hell fire is way hotter than this winter cold. You can get up and pray than go back to sleep again.... Get up".

My eyes were closed but my brain was wide awake yet it couldn't get my body into action. Then I heard probably Satan voice "its cool you know... Its only one fajar prayer and that isn't going to take you to hell. He will not punish you for that, He is merciful.... So don't pray and lets sleep". That's when my body got into action; I have to pray because I am not letting Satan to win.

As I was making breakfast for both of us, I rummaged through our conversation from last night. I came out of his room at two in the morning, if I didn't have to
pray I would have talked to him all night long... this made me realize what the word friend means. Ever since I had my brothers, they were the closet bff I had ever had. I did have friends but that just in school. Not the type where you talk on phone or hangout at each other house. When my brothers passed away I didn't have the luxury to make friends since I was always at work except for my boss.

Then when I was posted back seat I was all alone doing my work passionately.

He told me that I was so naïve that I didn't recognize him from the debate competition. I told him that I had the feeling that I had seen him somewhere but I
couldn't register. He also told me about him not having many close friends and had few girl friends in high school but neither were the types that were fully committing to relationships. Since he was busy all the time at school or at work all the girls lost
interest in him.

He decided to find a girl that would complete him, who is into him only. Who only cares about him! He said he would know when his heart dings and ding faster. So I see he is still virgin unlike most guys at his age. He asked about me and so I told
him that our religion so does our parents don't allow such relationships everything happens after marriage. So I hadn't been in relationship because of this plus I didn't find the need to tag a man with me. I am better off without one. But yeah, I do have guys' friends though like Jack and many more from high school with five minute crush. He joked about my five minute crush and asks what it was. Well, basically the five minute crush was where I check out the guy and talk to him to get to know him while doing an assessment. Then something about him would make my five minute crush into nothing. I just hope he wouldn't ask about himself because I had no answer to that question when he didn't, a relief swept through me. Then finally we came to the saddest part I guess for both of us. When he told me, he is planning to go home tomorrow since he is much better and doesn't want to interrupt my life.

Yeah, geez thank you for making my life a mess that I don't know when it will find its correct way. Until then I have to try to clear my head of these days. That blackness was shrouding me like a second skin.

Just like that he came, he has to leave and don't know when he will come back again,maybe never. I totally sound like I had fallen for him. To think about missing him.

A person whom I just knew for two weeks yet his presence had inebriated me that I can't think straight. I just couldn't manage to take his sudden goodbye but then somehow I spoke.

"Well, I have to go. It's very late. Good night Enzo". Without waiting for his reply.

I walked out with wobbly feet and shut the door behind me so he wouldn't see my tears.