The Things We Couldn't Say

Chapter 20

 Enzo

I watched her until she disappears into the crowd. The time when I really didn't want somebody to go but they had to go.

She made me feel so special besides my parents of course that I felt so pissed at my fate. She is the person whom I can never have because she is untouchable. She is because she is a Muslim girl for whom her religion is much more than anything. The way she behaves and keeps her distance from others. But it doesn't matter if she is in my fate, our destiny will bring us together. I was woken from thoughts by the cabbie with his accented voice.

"Girlfriend" 

"No...just a friend," I said while gluing my eyes to the front now.

"She is pretty, make her yours," he said.

To which I was surprised he noticed my anguish feeling that I hid so well.

"Well. It's hard" I said nonchalantly "because she just wants to be my sister"

"Hmm... well. It sounds difficult" he said quietly, hiding the disappointment.

"You can tell her, you want to be something else... Not that"

"No, man." I said "I don't know... I am scared what if she rejects me because I didn't have an effect on her when I was with her... What I mean is...She doesn't seem to be affected by me or is it just me" I told him my problem which doesn't seem to him because he was thinking until he spoke in his really strong accent.

"That doesn't mean anything because women are pro at those things. Meanwhile, men can only desperately wait which is visible in everything we do" he breathes in and takes a left to my house.

"Just make her feel that she is incomplete without you. Fill her empty spaces even when you are not around."

This guy seemed like a total love guru. He knows everything about love, relationships, and understanding. Those kinds of things that I had long forgotten about are once again becoming a part of me. To show that they can also be a part of my life just like any other person. I can be a rich guy like those who I used to envy when they would come to Starbucks except I will be rich in love.

"It looks like she has made me fall in love. I really don't know if she is feeling the same way as I do" I told him nervously because right now what matters to me is her opinion which I can never know because she thinks of me as her brother or maybe nothing. Even If she doesn't, there are miles in between us.

She is a Muslim and I am a free-thinker. If it means that I can be with her then I am willing to become Muslim.

Xxxxxxxxx

The first thing I did upon arriving here was to dial home cleaning to come and clean up the house. After they left, the house was cleaned I walked upstairs to my room that hasn't been used for six months and two weeks. The light from the moon was peaking through the curtains, the only light in the dark room. I sat down on my bed which was décor besides the window wall. It suddenly reminded me of the days when dad and mom used to gang up to put me to sleep. The already formed tears are flowing non-stop and my favorite bedtime story until now peter pan is still placed under my pillow. The best time of the day was when my parents used to mimic the characters to the point where I would feel like I am watching a live movie. I read the same peter pan book again until I fell asleep.

Xxxxxxxxx

I woke up to the constant buzzing of the phone with messages that were hitting my conscious to wake up and check me. With heavy eyes, I struggle to open them and when I did I was hit directly by the morning sunlight that almost made me blind.

I walked uncomfortably in the tight jeans which I forgot to change.

Picking up my iPhone and checked it was a message. Not just messages but rather messages from Brown. I struggle out of my tight pants while scanning through all of her unanswered messages.

"Merry Christmas Black, sorry Enzo"...

" What are your plans for the day?" ...

" oh! the stupid question"...

" Well if you're free. Can we meet up? I have something for you"...

 "Oh no...I shouldn't have said that....lol... but why aren't you replying"...

I walked to the bathroom in my blue boxers to do my morning business while taking the phone with me to reply. A grin was suddenly appearing on my face while typing out my reply. 

"Hey... sorry, I was asleep and just woke up. So that's why I couldn't reply. But yeah... we could meet up for dinner at my house or restaurant...whatever you say...but after I attend "God knows whoever...Merry Christmas to you to Brown p.s I thought Muslims don't say that or do they?" 

I click the send button and threw the phone on the shelf beside the sink and started to peel off my clothes to get ready to meet  "God knows whoever". Not until it will be something I hadn't expected.