A Beautiful Mess

Thirty Fourth: Reality

Thirty Fourth: Reality

Sure it was a big deal.

       Ever since.  Ever since I entered swimming classes, every game, every training, every trials, he was always number one.

       I finally reached the flag pole and grasped on it, right next to him.  Once again, unsuccessful.  Our bodies were being hit by the strong waves.  The crowds were cheering but I couldn’t hear them.  I bet he was content.  His plan was successful.  He did what he did.  I couldn’t argue more. 

       The announcer turned on his microphone, “And these are the swimmers who came first, Ethan Runwell from Anabay Beach, Cassandra Haynes from Westside Beach and Harrison Wood from Coast Beach.”

       The crowd held a long but steady applause, looking at us at a far distant.  The first place winners waved at them, giving their signature smiles.  I looked at Ethan whose eyes sparkled, giving a warm smile to the crowd as if it was his first time winning.  I looked away, reminding myself how stupid I was to actually fell for him.

       As their time of fame ended, the announcer continued, “And these are the swimmers who came second, Saydie Warman, Nathaniel Cross and Isabel Wilkins.”

       I let out a cheerful smile and waved at them same as what the other swimmers did.  I could see Bridget and Chloe giving me a thumbs up.  I gestured at them so they would know that I could see them.

       Second place.  It wasn’t really bad, but yet, I had disappointed my dad again.  What’s worst was that my plan on beating Ethan didn’t go as the way I planned.  I felt like the waves were hitting my chest purposely. 

       I wanted to forget all about it.  Forget the competition, it wasn’t important anymore anyway.  For now, I just wanted to swim back and rest.  It had been a long, tiring, hurtful, stupid summer.

       But just before I dive in, Ethan took a strong grip of my wrist, he wouldn’t let me go.  I couldn’t pull my own arm from him because he was holding it so tight. 

       “Saydie please, listen!” he was desperate.

       I floated still in the water, still with the waves, still with him.  What more does he want from me?  He won the game.

       “Can you just try to stay still for a moment?” he asked. “I was wrong, okay? I admit it. I was a jerk. I was so stupid for thinking of using you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t even expect that it had gone this far!” he stopped, “And it wasn’t about winning for myself, Saydie. You may think that I’ve done all these trainings and competitions for myself, but honestly I didn’t.”

       I forced myself to speak, “What do you mean it wasn’t for yourself? I thought winning was your thing?”

       “It isn’t my thing, I need you to understand this. I did this for my dad.” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Ethan Runwell had tears streaming down his cheeks. “My dad who’s in the hospital, surviving lung cancer. Every night he would wake me up and tell me, ‘Ethan, I love you. You’ve grown so much, and now I’m apologizing for the next years to come. If only you could make me smile one more time.’ And that was the reason why I had the guts to do anything, even if it takes to hurt a girl, that’s how much I love my dad."

       I felt my heart sinking down to the floors of the ocean.  I felt that I was the bad guy in this game.  I had no idea that he could keep a secret that big.  I didn’t even have a clue about it.  And now, I realized, that that was the reason why I didn’t see Mr Runwell since we moved in.  Not because he was a workaholic or an inside person, but because he was in the hospital all this time, surviving cancer.

       Not long, I felt tears running down my face.  Saltier than the oceans.  I had never thought that a boy like Ethan could do anything and everything, even hurting a girl’s heart, just for his father.

       I couldn’t resist myself.  I felt so much sympathy towards him.  I found myself still crying.  Crying a lot more than him.

       “And then you happened”, he continued.  “I thought using you to win the competition was a piece of cake. But no, I was wrong.”

       His eyes were sparklier than ever.  It sparked more than it had when I was locked into his eyes the first time we danced in the Summer Dance.

       “You were a tough cookie,” he forced a smile, “I liked you the moment you opened that door, when I came to pick you up at the night of the dance. You were prettier than what I imagined, and I figured, I was messing with the wrong girl.  But that didn’t stop me, because you were all worth it.”

       I felt my cheeks, so warm.  His voice so soft and gentle.

       He continued, “I thought it’d be hard to keep up, pretending to like you and all.  But my plan had actually failed.  Until I realized that I was no longer pretending.”

       Suddenly, everything became a blur.  All I could see was him.

       “I fell in love with you, Saydie.”