Be Without You (Completed)

2.

Beyonce's POV

"I want...I want to meet my dad."

I set my chicken down. I was not expecting this, not now. It's been a while since she's asked me about him. And this is the first time she's out right asked to meet him.

"Skai..."

"Mama, please, my 16th birthday is coming up. All I want is to meet him. I won't ask for anything else. If I can't meet him, can you at least just tell me about him? I feel like a piece of me is missing, like I don't know who I am."

My heart sunk hearing how Skai has felt all of these years because of my dumb decision making. I was naively hoping that one day she would just stop asking and never ask again, I was so not prepared for this.

"Skai, baby, it's not that simple," I said running my fingers through her hair.

"We tell each other everything, why can't you talk to me about this?"

I sighed. "I don't...I don't want you to look at me different."

She gently put her hand on my wrist and looked at me, "Mama, no matter what you tell me, I could never look at you different. You're my hero and I love you so much. Real talk. I could never hold anything against you. I just wanna know the truth."

Tears welled up in my eyes. I don't know why God blessed me with a daughter like Skai. She's so wise and mature beyond her years. And she deserves to know her father, whether I want him in my life or not. I took a deep breath. "Then get some popcorn ready, because this is a looong story."

She jumped back and squealed with excitement. "Really!?"

I laughed, "Yes, really! But I'm serious about that popcorn, get it popped before I change my mind."

"You ain't even finish your chicken yet!"

I stepped back and raised one eyebrow at her. She immediately turned around and headed towards the kitchen. "Two bowls of movie theater butter popcorn coming right up!"

I laughed and shook my head, "This girl."

In a few minutes she came back in with two bowls of popcorn and plopped down on the other couch across from me with the biggest smile on her face. I could tell she was genuinely so excited to hear this story. What she didn't know was this was my first time telling this story. Kelly, Solange, and my mama know the basics of what went down because they were around when it all happened, but besides that I've never told anyone. I've never been so nervous to talk in front of my own daughter before.

"Ok, so, Skai, the thing is..." I trailed off, not knowing how to say this.

"...What's the thing?" She stared at my waiting to see what I would say next.

"This thing is..." I sighed. "I don't...exactly know who your father is." Her eyes widened. "There's three guys that it could possibly be. Lyndell Locke, Idris Elba, and..." I took a deep breath before saying his named. A name I haven't said in 16 years. "...and Shawn Carter."

Her jaw dropped, "Mama!"

"Hey! I told you I didn't want you to look at me any differently!"

"Hey, I'm not judging, I'm just...surprised! In all my 15 years on this earth I've never seen you even date anyone and now I'm finding out you got around back in the day!"

I raised my one eyebrow again and she shut up. "Look, I'm not proud of this. I was...you know what? Let me just start from the beginning. Let me take you back to when I was a little older than your age. It was 1998, I was 17 years old, a senior in high school."

Please vote and comment! The speed is gonna start to pick up next chapter.

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