Hearts, Scars & Horseshoes

Chapter 55 - Toby

I laced my fingers with Faith's, leading her toward the front door. It was funny how such a simple thing as holding her hand would send Elijah's heart slamming around in my chest.

I closed Perrin's front door behind me, stopping short of the steps off the porch. Fishing my keys out of my pocket, I made a show of patting myself down for my phone even though I knew I had it.

"I think I left my phone in there, want to get in the truck and I'll be right back?" I asked it as a question but it wasn't really.

"Sure." She said, accepting my keys.

I let go of her hand, turning back toward the house.

"I'll just be a minute." I called over my shoulder as I shoved open the front door. The door clicked behind, echoing through the house.

"Forget something?" Perrin's voice called.

"Yeah." He emerged around a corner, his hands stuffed in his jeans. "Sort of."

"What's up?" He asked.

"I just wanted you to know.." I started, unsure how he'd take my news. "I didn't tell Lars."

I was surprised Lars hadn't said anything yet, it was uncharacteristic of him. And after all that was said that night, I was surprised Perrin hadn't asked.

"He saw you and Aiden somewhere. You know, I'm not gonna push you or anything..." I continued. "But if Mark is the only reason you don't want to tell the guys I'll deal with him for you."

I still wasn't sure which way Mark would go. Somewhere under all those asshole remarks there was a good guy. He'd shown himself to me a handful of times. And I was hoping this would be another one of those times.

I watched Perrin as he shifted on his feet, his eyes down. I was hoping he'd say something so I could gauge how he was feeling but true to Perrin's nature he stayed more quiet than anything.

"Aiden's cool, the guys will like him." I added, deciding that I should just go. Perrin would bring it up again when he wanted. I hoped. I was halfway through the door when he spoke.

"Toby?" He cleared his throat, finally lifting his gaze. He blew out a breath, scratching at the back of his neck with his hand. "Maybe I can bring him. The next time we all go to the park or something?"

"Yeah?" I said with a smile.

He shrugged, his eyes back down on the marble floor. "Maybe you'll bring Faith?"

I laughed through my nose, trying to hide the fact that I was still on the fence about introducing her to everyone. The more people she met in my life the greater the chance someone would say something and the sooner she'd put the pieces together. I knew it'd have to happen eventually. But I was still trying to figure out how she might react when she found out I had Elijah's heart.

Perrin looked up at me, his eyes searching mine as he waited for my answer. I wanted to help Perrin. He and Faith seemed like they had gotten along well, well enough for the two of them to share some quiet conversations. Conversations that had Elijah's heart pounding in my chest at the possibility of my lies unraveling. Don't get me wrong I was glad that they seemed to like each other but I didn't want to lose Faith. I didn't really want to do anything that might risk her leaving. But I couldn't necessarily keep her isolated from my life and the people in it. Maybe having Faith there would help, maybe it'd tone down Mark, take some of the pressure off Perrin because the guys wouldn't just be meeting Aiden, they'd be meeting Faith too. I blew out a breath, as much as it made me uneasy, it was inevitable.

"Yeah. I could do that."

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I swiped at an ant that was trying to crawl across my arm, the grass poking into my flesh. I was glad when Faith suggested we stopped at the park, I hadn't been ready to end our time together. I was currently acting as a pillow, Faith's blond hair splayed out across my chest. I had one of my arms tucked under my head so I could see her.

"I miss going to his games." She told me. "More than I ever thought I would. It's funny." Her gray eyes met mine, clouded over with grief. "You take things like soccer games for granted. I did like going to them. Most of the time." She laughed a little. "Well when the weather was nice. But what I wouldn't give to sit through a game now even if the weather was awful and it was raining and cold."

I hadn't stopped her when she brought up Elijah. His heart was pounding in my chest, something I was very aware of considering Faith's close proximity to it. Every time she shifted and her ear came a little closer to my chest, I'd think 'this is it, she's gonna hear it, she's gonna know' and panic would try to settle its way into my body. But she was yet to comment on the stampeding rhythm in my chest so I stayed quiet and listened, trying to store what she said somewhere in my being.

"There's just so many things I wish I could do again. So I could remember the details. Appreciate it more."

Her gray eyes were dancing back and forth, wet with unshed tears. I had a sudden urge to touch her, to run my fingers through her hair. I wasn't entirely sure we were to that point. When did that stuff become normal, expected? Was it too forward? Awkward?

I did it anyway.

"Can I tell you something?" She asked, closing her eyes at my touch.

"Of course." I hadn't intended on saying it as quietly as it came out but my voice caught in my throat.

She took a deep breath, my fingers running through her hair. It was soft, my fingers gliding through it like silk as the strands shined in the sunlight.

"Every once in a while, Elijah's door will be open." Every time she said his name, his heart beat harder. "I always thought it was my mom. Ya know, it just sort of seems like it should be. But it's not. It's my dad who goes in there." She closed her eyes again. I watched as a tear slipped out, rolling off her face before it collided with my shirt. "The last time, Simon wasn't there to intercept me. I've never beard my parents yell at each other before then." I didn't know what to say so I just kept playing with her hair, listening. "I didn't even realize that's what he was doing all this time. And I don't get why he does it. Why does he even care if I hear them fight?"

I was pretty sure she wasn't expecting an answer. But I had one. I didn't know Simon much at all but I already had a good feeling he cared way more than Faith realized.

"Do you ever wish you could just go back in time?" She asked, pushing herself up off my chest.

She wiped at the stray tears that had escaped, the arm supporting her pressed against my side as she hovered above me.

"Like maybe if I could go back to that day, I could do something different and then maybe the accident wouldn't have happened and Elijah wouldn't have died. My parents would still be happy and Simon would be less Simon."

I wondered if she knew that Elijah's heart was beating in my chest, keeping me alive, if she'd still feel the same. Because without Elijah's heart, maybe I wouldn't even be alive. But then again maybe it wouldn't matter, she never would have known me. I would have just been some kid, that meant nothing to her, that didn't get a heart in time. Not even a blip on her radar.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, the corner of her mouth turned up just the slightest as she studied me.

I shoved my thoughts to the back of my mind, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. I let a smile slip on my face.

"I was wondering if it was inappropriate if I kissed you right now."

It wasn't a total lie. I thought about kissing Faith a lot. It pretty much lingered in my subconscious ever since I kissed her the first time. Her smile widened, her eyes no longer filled with tears she was trying to hold in. Her head bobbed just the slightest, her eyes darting between mine. Neither of us moved. She was waiting for me to make the move. Elijah's heart had my chest tight, my breathing a little shallow. For a second I thought about waiting her out, waiting to see if she'd kiss me. Give myself a minute to get Elijah's heart to slow down, get my bearings.  But the longer the minute passed, the less I cared who started the kiss and honestly who would I be to disappoint her?

So I slipped my free hand into her hair, pulling her down, closer to me before our lips met.

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I kind of can't believe this is chapter 55. There's still so much left to this story. I feel like we just got started but 55 chapters is sort of a lot.