Hearts, Scars & Horseshoes

Chapter 95 - Toby

Twelve days.

I held my phone to my ear, listening to the start of Faith's voicemail for the millionth time. I hung up, there wasn't anything new for me to say to her. I'd just be repeating myself. I wondered if she even listened to the voicemails I had left. Or if she was just deleting them, too mad at me to even hear what I was saying.

I was sitting on the couch, post shower after my morning shift at the cafe. The tv was on, my hair still damp and stuck to my head. I wasn't watching anything in particular, just staring, my mind on Faith, the only thing I ever thought about, when the doorbell rang. I shoved myself off the couch, stepping over Eddy and Drogo as I went to answer the door. They followed me, tails wagging.

"I got it!" I yelled to my mom who was somewhere in the house, probably working on some photographs.

I pulled the door open, my eyes landing on Faith. Elijah's heart stopped in my chest at the sight of her. She was crying.

"Are you okay?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to reach out to her but I wasn't sure if she'd let me.

"Can I come in?" Her voice was thick with tears.

I stepped to the side, holding the door open. "Of course."

She walked to the center of the living room, ignoring the dogs, summer rain dripping off the pink raincoat she had on. She turned to face me, her gray eyes dark and full of turmoil. I knew it was a dumb question, I could see it in her eyes but I asked her anyway.

"How have you been?" The words came out hesitant.

I was fully aware that everything depended on what I said and did for the foreseeable future. However long that future was, wasn't up to me, it was up to Faith. Elijah's pounding heart added to the fear that she might just turn and leave and I'd never see her again if I made one more mistake.

She didn't answer me though, she just shook her head. I didn't know what to do, or what to say, or where to start. I felt the first of many apologies form in my throat, about to spill out of my mouth when she spoke, silencing me.

"Can I see?" Her words just above a whisper as the tears kept falling.

"Yeah." I answered instantly.

She wiped her face with the back of her hand, her eyes trained on me. God I had missed those eyes. I grabbed the hem of the gray shirt I was wearing. It was the very least I could do. I tugged it off over my head, the material bunched in my fist.

I watched her every move, her every breath, every emotion that ran through her eyes. She raised her hand like she was about to reach out for me, before she paused.

"Come here." My voice was low and quiet.

I was surprised she actually listened. That she actually came to me. She closed the distance between us until there were only mere inches. I reached down for her hand, my eyes on hers as I did. I slowly raised her hand, her skin like ice beneath mine.  She took a deep breath, already knowing what I was going to do. I pressed her cold hand against my chest, over Elijah's heart, holding it there, her small hand sandwiched between my hand and chest.

"Oh my god." She whispered, her voice quivering as her other hand covered her mouth.

Elijah's heart was racing in my chest, it must have known Faith was only just a couple layers of tissue and muscle away.

I didn't know what to say. I mean really there weren't words to adequately describe everything I was feeling. I was sorry, so incredibly sorry. I couldn't even begin to know how terrible it would be to lose my sibling. I had tried to put myself in Faith's shoes, imaging it was Stella who died and how I'd feel about someone having her heart. Every time my throat tightened and my eyes filled up with tears and I had to distract myself and let those thoughts disappear into the background.