Hearts, Scars & Horseshoes

Chapter 69 - Toby

Elijah's heart was beating out of control in my chest. I wasn't sure if it was because I was holding Faith's hand about to sit through my first ever bible study, whatever that was, or if it was because Elijah's leather bound bible was tucked under my arm. Or maybe it was because I had yet another secret I was momentarily keeping from Faith. Maybe it was an accumulation of it all but it felt like his heart was never going to slow down.

My hands were definitely a little sweaty but Faith didn't let go as we neared the doors of the church. It was quieter than the last time I had been there. Only a handful of cars in the parking lot, a stillness in the warm summer air that had me wondering if "bible study" was code for something else.

I was being ridiculous. No one here knew my secret. Secrets. Though the second one wasn't that bad. Hopefully. Maybe she'd get mad. But I saw it falling in my favor. At least in my mind.

"You didn't have to come." Faith said as we entered the doors. A stale burst of air blasting over us, not quite cold enough to make it refreshing.

"Any chance to see you and I'm there."

It was cheesy but also very, very true. When Faith asked me the next morning after her parents found out she'd been skipping, I didn't hesitate to offer. Maybe being there together would make it suck less for her. But at the very least, we'd be together. Plus afterward, I already had plans to take her to the ice cream place down the road. Highjack her church thing and turn into a date thing.

"Am I going to have to like participate or something?" Was a bible study like school? It sort of sounded like school.

Faith bumped her shoulder into me, I could hear the smile on her face when she spoke. "Not if you don't want to."

"Good." I felt slightly less nervous.

"But everyone's going to want to talk to you." She added. "You're fresh meat."

The nervousness I thought I had gotten rid of returned, doubled, even as I let out a chuckle. Elijah's heart still thundering away.

"It's right in here." Faith said, nudging us toward an open door in a windowless hallway.

I let her enter first, our fingers unlacing as we stepped into a fluorescent filled room. It was relatively empty except for a group of tables that spread the length of the middle of the room, chairs tucked under the side neatly. There was a handful of belongings, keys, bibles, a water bottle, spread along the table marking an occupied spot.

"Faith! I'm so glad you made it!" A woman called as she hustled her way toward us. "And you brought a friend!"

I don't know why even I said it. The word hadn't even crossed my mind in the past fleeting moments. But all of sudden I heard myself say "Boyfriend."

The woman's mouthed formed into an "O", my own pulse beating in my ears. Faith and I hadn't bridged the topic yet and even though I'm pretty sure we were boyfriend and girlfriend I had never officially asked. I didn't look over at Faith as I forced myself to carry on like I wasn't just blurting out random things to strangers.

"Toby, nice to meet you." I jutted my hand out toward the woman, giving her my best smile.

"Sheree Galowski. It's a pleasure to meet you Toby." She had brunette hair that was graying at the roots, and soft brown eyes that reminded me of my Grandma's.

"Pleasure to meet you also, thanks for having me."

"Of course, we love having new people." She looked over at Faith. "And we love when our old ones find their way back."

I watched as Faith attempted a smile, the corners of her mouth tugging slightly upward but it never really formed into anything genuine. I wondered if Sheree Galowski was another one of the herd of people that never spoke of Elijah. Faith had never mentioned her but maybe she was close to Faith at one point, or Elijah. Or maybe she was just another person that even though Elijah had been in her life for a moment, enough time had passed that any wound his death may have inflicted had already healed. As if it was almost never there in the first place.

"Why don't you kids find a seat, we're just waiting on a few more."

I let Faith lead the way to a spot, the two us sat before I leaned over and asked quietly, "does she run this?"

"Yeah, she does a lot of the youth stuff, especially for teens." Faith edged closer to me as she spoke.

I found her hand under the table, lacing our fingers back together. I didn't know if holding hands in a church was akin to a sin or something especially if you weren't married. But I sort of liked the secrecy the table provided us.

"I should have asked a while ago.." I whispered, her gray eyes locked on me. "...but will you be my girlfriend?"

Elijah's heart was going to burst straight out of my chest. It hadn't settled down and I was legitimately surprised no one had called me out on my nervousness.

I watched as Faith's eyes widened, the corners of her mouth pulling up in the beginning of a small forced smile. For a second I thought that maybe she wasn't going to say yes, that I wouldn't get her real smile, that whatever resentment she held for this place and the people in it so effected her that she couldn't feel past it. I could feel myself start to panic with rejection, flight instincts wanting to take over. But then she smiled. That real, beautiful, toothy smile of hers. The one that had her gray eyes alight with happiness.

In that instant, my body relaxed, Elijah's heart stopped trying to run itself ragged in my chest, and I just took her in. I took in all that she was. The perfect and the imperfect. She was beautiful, beyond anyone I'd ever known. And I could finally put a finger on what it felt like to fall in love.

And I realized that was exactly what I'd done.

                               ————————

I've been busy! But busy in away that benefits all of you! I've laid out the next 20 chapters. Yes you read that right, I said 20. Some of them are already started also. Which means hopefully updates will be coming at you faster. And just to clarify this book is not ending in 20 more chapters. Apparently I wanted to write a ridiculously long book.