Book Of Words

k i n g + n i n e

I drove for five hours straight and then hid in the middle of the forest. Annie was still out so I decided so lean back and close my eyes to sleep. Tears still fell though.

I was in a realm of sky. Everything was blue and clouds ran through all of it. I turned a lot but I didn't find anything.

"Guest Mikasa." A voice said.

I gasped as I saw Martha appear. "Ma-Martha?" I stuttered.

She nodded and leaned close and kissed my lips. Her lips felt cold and dead. My tears fell as she pulled away, leaving my lip tingling.

She then pointed to something behind me and I turned to see a faceless Annie with her lips parted slightly.

"Mikasa..."

"MIKASA!" Annie yelled on my ear which made me jump awake. I looked at her, she was full of tears and sorrow. "Where's Martha?" She asked me with a voice of panic as she shook my shoulders. "Where's Martha? Answer me!"

My tears began falling again... I knew that a long time ago but why? Why do I still mourn? "She's dead..." I sobbed and Annie gasped, her eyes wide in shock. "Historia shot her and Eren stabbed her...I'm sorry, Annie... I'm sorry..."

Annie backed away and sank on her chair. "No, no..." She closed her eyes and tears began to fall, slipping through her beautiful, light lashes. She opened her eyes to reveal a pair of bright, angry blue eyes. "You..." She growled and it sounded scary despite her tears. "IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU ABANDONED MARTHA!"

I just stared at her, listening and my tears falling too. I wanted to explain but when I open my mouth, I couldn't form the words to say.

Since when was it not my fault? I abandoned Martha...abandoned...

"YOU'RE ALWAYS SO FUCKING SELFISH!" Annie cursed at me. "YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT EVERYONE WILL KEEP UP WITH YOUR SHIT! NO! NO ONE CAN KEEP UP WITH YOUR SHIT!" She wiped her tears away angrily with the sleeve of her hoodie. "Martha..." She said in a small voice. "She was the only one I had..."

I'm sorry, Annie.

"BUT YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME!" Annie screamed, "YOU KILLED HER, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! YOU KILLED HER!!!" She continued to sob as she lashed out on me.

I opened the car door beside me.

Annie sniffed. "What are you doing?"

I looked back at her and this is probably the last time. "To pay for all my sins." And I turned away and walked briskly away from the car, away from Annie, away from my freedom.

"Mikasa! Wait!" I heard Annie cry but I didn't turn back and kept on walking faster until I was running away.

I have made my choice. I know what to do.

I must do what needs to be done. The sinner must pay and that sinner is me.

"Guest Mikasa..."

Annie's warm embrace...her arms around my waist as we snuggled against each other.

My tears started to fall wildly. Seems like crying became a daily routine for me.

I ran towards the exit of the forest, the green trees towered over me. Are we out of the woods? Not yet. I kept running until I reached the asphalt road that I drove on earlier.

A few meters away, police cars have gathered, running towards here. I shook as I sobbed. I walked slowly to the center of the road, raising my hands in the air in surrender.