The bad boy and the loner girl

Chapter 23: christmas sex

After jace explained everything to me i told him i would talk to him later because i just needed time. Everyone left shortly after that.

Thank goodness.

Now its christmas morning and we had just finished opening our presents! My mom got me a new phone, Iphone!! Im actually spazzing out, i love it!

Were eating breakfast right now, bacon and eggs yummmmeehhh in my tummmehh!

"Can you pass me more bacon?" I ask.

My mom gives me some while eyeing me carefully.

I look up to her raising my eyebrows.

"Can we talk after breakfast?" She asks.

I pause for a second thinking it over.

I guess i really don't have much of a choice.

"Okay."

I finish my food grabbing my new phone and heading to the basement.

When jace told me it was Mags who kissed him and set everything up i wanted to jump back into his arms. I knew i couldn't though, that little thing made me lose control, what if something worse happened? Would i be able to stay strong enough?

I just want to go back to how it was before everything fell apart. Before i found out about my mom and mags. All i want is to be happy with Jace and the guys.

My dad gone, Mags gone, all i want are the boys.

They are my happiness now.

But i rely on them too much, i rely on Jace too much.

That has to change. Therefore i am going to take it slow and try to just be friends. I dont need him to be with me like that, just as long as hes in my life.

At least i hope thats all i need.

I love him. How does one fall out of love with someone like him?

This is going to be hard.

"Beatrice?" My mom calls.

"Down here." I yell.

I hear her come down the stairs and sit next to me.

I look up at her.

I wonder what she wants to talk about.

"Hun, at the dinner you had bandages around your wrists. With everything that has happened to you i am very concerned that you have resorted to the unthinkable. Self harm." She says with a straight face.

No sympathy or sadness just plain no emotion.

"Mother look, we have never been close and we never will. I want to be dont get me wrong but we cant. I would explain it to you but i don't think you truly care." I say while pulling my sleeves farther over my hands.

"Well ill tell you what ive noticed through out this school year. You were this crazy weird funny girl always saying something interesting. Now i dont see you joking around as much. You've gotten pretty serious and i know its partly due to my mistake with Mags." She states.

Now that i think about it, i was definitely more of a joker and weirdo closer to the beginning of this year but now im really not.

I guess thats understandable though right? All i had as baggage before was my dads crabby behaviour towards me. Now i have my mom paying someone to be my friend, well paying my only friend all my life to be my friend and now i also have boy troubles. The last part isn't so bad, at least i have friends now.