Wallflower Kleo

First day nerves

Kleo

It was the second week of university but my official first day and I was shitting bricks. I'd been seriously ill ever since I came back from living it up in Egypt and had spent the last few weeks eating putrid chicken soup and throwing up in bed. Here I was now, at Morgan Tate University, finally going to start my Law course. I was already nervous due to the fact that it was a new environment and I'd have to get to know people but because everyone else got a 2 weeks head start, I was even more anxious I'd be the left out newbie. It can't be that bad I keep reassuring myself; I know a few people from my college are going to be here, the thought of that half excites and half scares me.

I've always been the unnoticeable girl in college, the way I see it, the more out there you are, the more drama you attract and trust me, that theory was solid. Attention has never been my thing, I'm a self confident person, my mother has raised me to be a strong young woman who doesn't need validation from anyone so it's not something I care to seek. As confident as I am, when you're under the spotlight, that's when your insecurities are scrutinised and that's something I tend to avoid. The thing is though, I just don't care. Now I know everyone loves screaming about how they don't care about shit blah blah but I genuinely don't, my hard exterior is reflective of my interior. I lacked interest in pretty much everybody because I'm usually too preoccupied with myself, as self obsessed as that sounds. This explains why I've never been a 'friends' person or good with the whole 'clique' concept, now don't get me wrong, I do have friends but we're not those touchy touchy best friends, always screaming out 'squaaaa' , constantly having instagram pouty faced photoshoots kinda friends.

Uni was a place I just wanted to go and get my degree and work towards being the barrister I wanted. I was excited as I loved Law and wanted to get as much out of it as possible. Morgan Tate had an outstanding law department hence why I selected it and it was a sociable place renown for its cool parties and events. Also, it was far away for me to move out but close enough for me to go and see my mum every weekend. The only disadvantage was that the other departments weren't so outstanding so too many people from my college were here too; and by too many, I mean the leader of all demonic bitches and her minions and the many ever so annoying (fuck)boys.

"It'll be calm, trust me," Ayesha reassured me whilst looking intensely at her ice lolly as she licked it.

"I thought it would be mad awkward at first too but everyone here is nice. Think about this way, everyone here felt like that too and besides you got your queen bitch here too." she followed this with a cheesy grin and nudged my shoulder.

Ayesha was one of the few females I befriended (managed to tolerate) in college. At first I found her to be slightly irritating and obnoxious but she was one of the few girls that I found to be real, unlike many of the other 'popular' girls she never acted up in front of boys and never failed to call out people who were not being genuine. I was slightly flattered at first when she'd started waiting for me outside my lessons or following me to the toilets (as creepy as it sounds lol) because this was her initiating a friendship and she was a very outgoing person whereas I was ... well ... boring.

"Yeah, I know," I mumbled back half heartily. "But everyone's probably gotten to know each other and I'm just ... there."

"Oi," she swung me around facing her making my curls fly then bounce back in front of my face "Shut your bludclart mout," she said in a Jamaican accent swinging her fingers in the air.

"You're going to walk in there like that fabulous bitch you are, take a seat and get to work, just like that and then everything will go from there, balee me," she ended in an American accent. She then gave me a bemused look after staring at me in thought.

"And since when did you care what others think, Kleo?"

"Hmm," I grunted whilst shrugging.

She was right. The real Kleopatra would have waltzed in there without a care in the world for who would talk to her and be too self involved to even notice if anyone did. I pondered on that and thought about how university was a big change, I wanted to force myself to be sociable, I can't be an antisocial hermit forever ay and besides, new environment, new people, new Kleo.

I reached the door to my lecture room with Ayesha in tow. My heart was beating faster than normal and my hands became sweaty and clammy. Ayesha pushed me closer to the grand oak door and opened it wide for me.

"Go get em, kid," she whispered following it with a long eyelashed wink.