...And It's Blue

2

*the story from here is of the incidents that took place in the past*

"Diary"
Dear diary,

This is the first time I'm writing in a diary so let me introduce myself. My name is Lacey Baine! I love sports and dancing. AND CHOCOLATES! My mom makes really yummy chocolate cakes!

I don't have many friends. But I do have a best friend! Her name is Ava. Ava Cayson.

But she left the city and I call her everyday to talk to her. She is a good kid. My best friend. The nicest person ever but every time I tell her this, she tells me to shut up :(

But I know she's just joking. I just want to spend more time with her but we can't meet anymore.

She also has a very cute big brother. But he's mean. He always teases me and one time he threw me in a swimming pool when I was wearing a nice dress. He's very very mean but he is also like a big brother to me.

That is all!

Lacey Baine, signing off.

That was the first and last time I ever wrote something in my diary. I rolled on my back and turned the pages and found pictures of Ava, her brother and I. I had decided to keep a diary after Ava left to record all the things that had happened all our lives but apparently 10 year old me had forgotten about the existence of the diary 1 day after writing in it.

I kept the diary aside and searched for the box containing everything related to Ava - her gifts, photo albums. I found a matching ring which was now too small for my finger. I had even kept the small notes she would pass to me during class.

I cackled when I saw how ugly we both looked in the pictures. A lot can change in 7 years. I looked much better. We lost contact. However, I still had no friends and I had made peace with it now. I was never going to have friends.

I found more pics while looking through the photo albums and came across a picture I did not remember taking. Ava and I were on the swings in the park and Maddie was sitting on the slide.

Right. Maddie.

The bitch who had sworn to fuck up my life in school. The only reason I hated school was her.

It all started when I was a freshman in high school. I saw a familiar face and it turned out to be Maddie who had sworn on her life to make my life miserable. I was glad this was the last year I was going to be in the same college as her.

She spread rumours all over school, talking about how I stole her best friend A.K.A Ava, who just happened to be my best friend too. And that I bullied Ava into leaving the city and people believed her, and that is what I would like to call pretty privilege.

I knew for a fact that she had hated me since the first time we talked to each other but she had taken it too far.

I had done well ignoring all of them, ignoring the insults thrown my way, the writing on the locker but it never seemed to end.

At one point I lost it and I punched her in the face and well who would've thought she was into drama? She screamed like her life depended on it and things got ugly. I was called to the principal's office, got suspended for 2 weeks, was made to pay her 'hospital charges' and to top it all off I was labelled as the kid who was a lost cause because she had no parents to raise her.

So basically, everyone in school hated me and would never stand up for me so fighting back would mean getting expelled. Or I might be sent to juvie considering how strong their opinions on my misbehaviour was.

Well that wasn't the worst thing that had happened to me.

On the last day of high school before summer vacation, I was cornered by some of the people that basically worshipped Maddie. They could actually start a cult. And of course 5 vs 1 isn't the best match up and I got fucked. Real bad. I could barely walk back home after that day.

I decided I would report to the police about what happened but I had no proof.

On the last week of vacation I had visited my aunt and uncle, who took care of me like their own daughter. After my parents passed away in the accident I had no one to look after me and my aunt decided to help me. They were mostly helping me manage the finance left behind by my parents since I had absolutely no idea what to do with it back then.

It had seemed like I was the protagonist of a book where only unfortunate things happened to her to give her a real good character development because on the day I visited them I overheard their conversation.

So apparently I was a burden to them and they did not think of me like their own daughter.

I still lived at my house even if it did make me feel eerie most of the time because of how lonely it suddenly got, but I had to save as much money as I could. Just because my parents had a lot of money, it did not mean I could use it however I wanted.

Nothing ever really goes your way and I had to learn that the hard way.

Leaving my best friend, losing my parents, being bullied for absolutely no reason, having no one that trusts you, being a burden to the only people you thought cared, it all sucked.

I hated it here.

I hated everything about this.

I hated looking forward to another day.

I was just a pathetic person that could not even defend herself.

I threw aside the photo I was looking at and decided to just sleep. If single photo can contain so many horrible memories I don't want to look at them or take them anymore.