...And It's Blue

26

I quit my job at the cafe and started going to the company earlier. I couldn't concentrate much but I managed. I hadn't seen Aiden since that day. The rest of the boys and the girls spammed me with messages. I replied to them after almost a week. I couldn't help that I had forgotten that my phone was switched off and I hadn't used my phone at all.

I hadn't eaten properly all these days. I felt weak. I had dark circles and I skipped college most of the days. The two girls would come over to take care of me even thought I insisted them not to come.

I had moved back to my previous home cause I hadn't paid the rent in months and was kind of kicked out and it made things worse. I would remember about my parents everyday. Things were all over the place. I was a mess, my head was a mess.

I would usually draw or scribble on my notebook. I would write down my feelings hoping it would take away the pain. But guess what? It didn't. It just made me feel dumb.

I had just returned from college and got ready to go to the company. I greeted my uncle and went to my office. I started doing my work. I gave my full concentration to the work and I didn't realise it was already dark outside.

My uncle came into my office and he told me to go home. It was really late so I packed everything and headed home. He asked me if I wanted a drop home but I didn't want to trouble him so I went home alone.

I reached home and was about to change into my nightwear when the door bell rang causing my head to explode. I hadn't heard this sound in ages. I opened the door was met with the all too familiar blue-green eyes but this one had shorter hair.
"What do you want?" I groaned and before waiting for an answer I was about to shut the door but his leg stopped it.
"You mean what do we want?" He smiled and entered the house and everyone else followed him. I didn't even know they were here.

"Okay" I drawled "What do ya'll want?" I stared at them blankly.
"We are going to a party and-" Emma started but I cut her off.
"Okay cool. Enjoy! Bye" I tried pushing them out but then I gave up.
"And you are coming with us" Jay continued for him.

"No I am not" I said with finality but they just didn't seem to get it.
"C'mon" the girls pulled me by the hand and took me to my room. I was pushed in front of my huge walk-in closet an they barged in, searching for clothes.
"You haven't even dressed up" I said flatly after I looked at the three of them who were dressed in sweatpants and tank tops.

"We left some spare cloths here remember?" Zoe said knocking on my head before continuing to search for clothes.
They finally threw out a black spaghetti strap top and a draped skirt with ended mid thigh. They tossed a pair of black stilettos and a thick black choker.

I lazily moved around and wore the outfit they had picked for me. They did my makeup and hair and threw me into the living room.

All of us drove to Xav's place, where the party was held. The music was already blaring and I caught a glimpse of blonde hair with a girl in the kitchen. I just realised that Xav wasn't at my place this whole time. I entered the party and went straight to the kitchen to pour myself some drinks. I filled my cup upto the brim with beer and went to the living room. I downed the cup in one go and went to get another glass. I had already lost sight of all of my friends so it was just me and my bad decisions today or tonight.

I downed my 4th cup of what I thought was beer but it tasted different. I dropped the cup on the floor and went to the dance floor. I let myself free and moved along to the music. Everything around me was moving fast or was I just moving slow? I went back to the kitchen to take a bottle of beer from the fridge but came across a couple making out on the fridge door.

"There are people who come here to drink and not to watch people make out!" I shoved them away, pissed off. I took out 2 bottles of beer, I don't know why I took out the second one but I guess someone asked for it. I sat on the couch in the corner of the house and watched as guys blasted each other's face off, couples making out which disgusted me and in the corner of my eye I caught the glimpse of a guy who was sitting alone in the far corner of the house.

My vision was blurred because of the amount of alcohol I had taken and my head was spinning. I stood up and made my way towards that lonely figure and dropped down the second I went near him.

I woke up with a heavy hangover. My head was paining so much it felt like someone was smashing my head on the wall. I sat up straight and looked at the figure sleeping beside me. His eyes fluttered open and then I remembered we weren't together anymore.

I shot up from bed, causing my headache to worsen and shot towards the door but his hand caught mine.
"Let go" I glared at him.
I didn't want to look like a lost, sad puppy in front of him so I put on a strong exterior.
"Listen Lacey, I can explain-"
"There's nothing left to explain Aiden. You made it clear that you didn't want to be in a relationship with me and so we're done"

I turned around and left.

I made a really bad decision. I should have listened to him. I should've given him a chance to explain himself. But I didn't. I just walked out of there.

________________________________

1 year since I've not met him. He's still on my mind even after an year. I just can't seem to get over him. I try to do things that might help me in forgetting about him but every single thing reminds me of him.

I talked to the boys about him and they said that he became distant, that he rarely ever talks to them. We all have been busy with our own works but we have enough time to hangout. We meet up every week in the cafe.

Being with them reminds me of all the times we have all spent time together, the 10 of us. All the fun we had. When I'm with them I'm always happy but when I return home all the memories of Aiden comes rushing back.

The emptiness I felt was inexplainable. I had friends now who were as close as a family. But there was always this empty feeling.

We all met today at the cafe and now I was returning home. I had something to do so as soon as I reached my home I rushed to my room and took out my diary. I hadn't written it for so long.

I wanted to write it now. About everything that has happened in my life. Just in case something happens and I would forget it, all the memories. So I sat down and wrote everything I remembered. From the day I met him to the day I last saw him. Everything.

My eyes were filled with tears as I remembered everything. The journey was beautiful until we took the wrong turn and everything went wrong.