I Died Today (BWWM)

22.Joanna

Sydney P.O.V

I sat next to Levi in front of the store and I didn't want to go in and I wasn't sure why. Maybe its because I didn't want to know what I had to do, honestly death seemed to be the cure for what I have.

"Ready?" He asked me and I looked at him for a short moment.

"Why did Levi tell me your name was Mark?" I asked remembering that.

"Because it is now."

"Why?"

"Why do you care to know?" I just looked at him for a long moment and my nose started to bleed a little and he looked forward turning off the car.

"I moved to New York for a while and I changed it, just to avoid anyone from knowing who I was." He said just as he opened the door.

I stepped out with him accepting the half answer, and I looked at the storefront. Levi banged on the front glass and after a moment the door opened.

"Levi, nice to see you," Johanna said smiling at him, and she stood close to him trusting her pelvis out a little.

I walked to his side and she looked at me with wide eyes and moved back from him completely.

"Kate, how are you?" She said and I moved past Levi to her.

"How do you know that?"I asked her and she backed up letting me in.

"Well I'm very spiritual so I can see things," She said as I heard the door close.

"Well tell me how to fix things now, I want to forget my past life," I said and she gave me a taken back look.

"I don't know why your soul is in a loop like this." She replied making me stop.

"Loop?"

"Yes, that's what's going on here a loop." She walked around grabbing 3 different books.

"Come in." SHe said holding open a door and I and Levi walked back there with her.

The room was full of different witch or maybe voodoo looking stuff. I sat at her table and Levi stood behind me, as she sat down tossing the books onto the table.

"Life as One." One book read and Joanna looked at me.

"Well, one way I know a soul can be in a loop is because you never finished something in life. Did you not finish something important?" She asked.

"All the time, I always die young, from my first life to my last. I've never made it over the age of 30." I replied and she nodded tossing another book down, it was the one I was going to buy the first time.

"Being reborn is another way to get trapped in a loop, you die and is reborn the same moment. This book talks about how people have memories of there past life, after the reincarnation. This means maybe your soul is jumping from body to body to fast." She replied.

"So that means if this is the case maybe I can't stop this from happening," I said and Levi hit the table.

"What's the last option, Joanna?" He yelled at her making her jump.

"Death," She said handing me the last book.

"The way a person dies is known to affect the afterlife, causing hauntings and other things. There is a thought that if you died is a very distasteful way that this can happen." She said and I looked down.

"How did you die?" Levi asked.

"I've drowned, been hung, stabbed to death, shot, Hung again, drag by my neck from a car, burned in a fire, died giving birth. To make it short I've always been killed in one way or another or sometimes I've killed myself to reset things." I said looking at her.

"Well maybe this is it, you seemed to never die peacefully." She said confusing me.

"But why would it cause this to happen and for so many lifetimes?" I asked her and she just kind of gave a sad look, as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Why are you helping me so much?" I asked her and she looked at me then Levi, and back to me.

"The night you gave birth, our doctor, Doctor Gary was with her, fucking her and now she feels bad. If she wasn't trying her hardest to just fuck us over, maybe you would have just lived." Levi said and I looked at her.

"I'm sorry Kate, I don't know what I wanted by being with him even turning off his phone after I saw you called. Just know now that I'm sorry," he said and I stood to grab all three books and Johanna grabbed them first putting them in a bag.

I and Levi walked out, and my heart felt heavy for some reason, and as I sat in the passenger seat I looked at Levi.

"Your nose is bleed." He said handing me a napkin.

"What happened after I died?" I asked him and he looked at me.

"Tell me the truth because I can see you want to lie," I told him and he huffed.

"I want to lie because I don't want you to be disappointed in me."

"Levi is an amazing person, I don't think I could be."

"After you died, everyone panic, running all over and your mother yelling at me. I was heart broke and a second later Levi came out, healthy as a horse. I took him home with me three days later, and 1 year your parents took me to court. They said I was unfit to be a parent and I moved to New York trying to just get away. I changed my name, and I and Levi lived there as the case went on. Shortly after his second birthday, they took him from me, and he was there till he was about 11. In that time he was gone I'm not sure what happened to me, I was high or drunk every day." I looked down but I felt his eyes on me.

"When he came back to me, I lived in that house with my tattoo shop, but I was still drinking every night. He was just a good kid, so I never had a problem with him lying or doing bad shit but I never paid him another attention. Being a father wasn't as easy as I thought and I know Levi has never loved me as he should. How can he when for years he was told I left him." I looked at him and saw the tears falling down his face.

I felt like a gear shift in my head for the first time, and that was why this was happening and now in my life. I have to fix this because for the first time I was that my life mattered and that was how I fix this.