Empty Handed

Choices and The What?! (Chapter Twelve)

A/N: Strong language is used and violence is portrayed in the beginning of this chapter.
P.S: This is definitely the longest chapter I've ever written.

Song of The Chapter:
Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven (Just because it's very relaxing)

MATT
I stayed in my room all day, left alone with my thoughts. I slept for a little while but that wasn't enough. I took another shower. This time, it was a long shower. I just stood there, beneath the warm spray. I had no idea when the tears came. I cried all my frustrations out in the shower. All the pain I felt, right from when I started going from foster home to foster home, wondering why my sexuality had to be a huge problem for all six foster homes I had been to.

<FLASHBACK>

"Mrs- Mom, I'm back!" It's going to get a lot of getting used to, calling my new parents 'mom' and 'dad'.

Her ever present warm smile since they adopted me was missing as she approached me.

"We got a call from your school. What's this nonsense we heard about you kissing a boy in school?!"

I started stuttering.

"Speak up you twit!"

"I... I- um, see" I was incapable of saying anything else because the next thing I got was a slap.

"You disgust me. Be lucky Ray isn't home yet. Although he knows."

As she spoke, Ray walked in taking purposeful strides towards me as I backed up till I was against the wall. I tried to run but surprisingly, he caught me by my hair and drew me back. I winced at the immense pain it caused.

He brought out a belt and muttered something about beating the demon out of me. He hit me quite a number of times with the belt, every hit worse than the last. He finally let me go when I was on the floor and unmoving.

That night, I didn't cry much. I just felt numb. I packed up all my things, opened the window of the room which I sleep in and climbed down, jumping at the end. Then, I ran away. A fourteen year old with no place to go.

<END OF FLASHBACK>

The scenes from Ben's rink came crashing in too. I cried all the sadness I felt in my heart.

When the tears stopped, I took a strawberry body wash and applied some on my body, rinsing off immediately. I let the warm water run through my hair and I ran my hands through it. I turned the shower off and got a towel, wrapping it around me. One look in the mirror and I found that my eyes are blotchy with the amount of crying in the shower.

I walked out of the bathroom and heard a knock on my door. Knowing fully well who it is, I decided not to answer.

"Matt, I know you're in there. Please open the door." I unlocked the door and stood in the way.

"What do you want Scott? Seriously. I'm too tired for this. What do you want?"

He doesn't say anything and just stared behind me as he absent-mindedly scratched the wall.

"Scott, I can't do this with you. I really can't. I'm trying to understand you. I really am, but, you do things that drive me crazy like being with Adam for one." He swallowed but listened intently. The tears threatened to come again but I tried my best to force them down.

"I can't handle seeing you guys together. It kills me. If you really want to be with Adam, then be with him only. If you want to be with me, then you have to choose. I really really like you Scott, but I can't keep living like this." My voice broke at the last part and a sob escaped my mouth. I shut the door in his face, ran to my bed and cried into my pillow.