chapter 18

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There was more? Loren had never seen Eddie so flustered. He stood up and filled a glass with the amber-colored liquid in the decanter. He took a long drink and exhaled. He poured himself another glass and came back to the couch to sit down again.

"I'm sorry for drinking in front of you," Eddie said as he took another drink. Loren had seen him drunk, but it was true that he very rarely drank in her presence. Whatever else Eddie had to tell her must be something shocking.

Loren patiently waited as Eddie gathered his thoughts. He put the now empty glass down on the coffee table and leaned his head back against the couch. For a split second, Loren thought that he might have fallen asleep, but he suddenly opened his eyes and looked directly at her. There were tears threatening to spill from his eyes that held a sadness she had only seen once before when he was talking about his mom's death.

"What I'm about to tell you is something no one else knows. Not Jake, or my dad, or anyone. Only Mitch knows the truth."

Loren knew he was divulging something dark. She vowed to keep it a secret as long as Eddie wanted her to. She was frightened at what Eddie had to say, but knew his heart was heavy. His face took on a faraway look as he began speaking.

"Sarah went off to college, and I released my album and went on tour. We had absolutely no contact; although, Mitch and I would occasionally talk." Eddie looked straight ahead at the wall as he continued, "Mitch started telling me that Sarah was having a hard time in Chicago and was hanging out with some bad people. She stopped seeing her grandparents and would disappear for days at a time. Her school work was suffering, and she was draining her bank account a lot faster than she should have been. He suspected that she might be involved in drugs, and he told me he was worried about her."

Loren began to rub his shoulder trying to offer what comfort she could as he continued with the story.

"Mitch was mad at me for the way I treated his sister, but at the time I really didn't care. I had my tour, my music, my 'model girlfriend.' Everything was working out for me, but for Sarah, apparently, it was a nightmare. So, when the tour was going through Chicago, Mitch asked me if I would help with an intervention with Sarah. He hinted that she wanted to see me, and he thought that my presence might convince her to get some help."

At this point, Eddie eased away from Loren's hand and moved to the other side of the couch, as far away from her as possible. She felt an ominous silence settle over them. Only Eddie's tapping of his fingers on the back of the couch could be heard in the room. It was like the calm before the storm.

"I promised to go after the show," Eddie said staring off into space again as if reliving that time. "I had every intention to, but some of my new 'friends' showed up backstage and wanted to hit the town. I could have said 'no.'" Eddie's voice began to crack as he continued to speak, "I should have kept my obligation. It was the least I could do for Sarah after the way I treated her. But, I thought I was supposed to live this fast, rock star lifestyle, so I blew it off and went out instead. It was like I didn't want any reminder of my life before . . ."

"Before?" Loren prodded.

"Before my mom died," Eddie finished without looking at her. "Anything that reminded me of Mom made me hurt all over again. I even cut out Pop for a while. I just wanted to live fast and forget the pain. Sarah represented that pain for me. I didn't even recognize who I had become."

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