Til Death Do Us Part...

Wedding Day 6

The wooden doors were still closed. Sansa and Arya were standing next to each other with a small basket with white roses. As soon as they would push the door open the music would start playing and the ceremony would officially begin.

Ilva took a deep breath. Everyone was nervous on their wedding day and she knew that no matter who she had married she would have had this weird feeling in her stomach and this trouble breathing. But she was sure that in her case the nerves were quite a little bit worse.

"Are you ready?" Sansa looked over her shoulder and her glance met Ilva's for a short moment.

Ilva was ready. She was ready to officially change her name. To bind her life to someone else's. To promise to stay faithful and loyal, through better and through worse, through sickness and health, until death would eventually part them. She hoped that Jon wouldn't be taken away from her any time soon. She was not sure if she would recover from a second hole in her heart, from having her entire soul being ripped away from her again. She threw her head in her neck and looked up at the ceiling above her head. She was not sure if God lived there, but she prayed to him anyway.

"Please..." Her lips whispered, formed the words without making any sound. "Don't take him away from me until we've lived our lives and fulfilled our dreams. Don't take him away from me before we are both old and gray, with so many years behind us that we can't remember all the good moments anymore, that even today is nothing but a vague memory." She took a deep breath. "Please, God, Gods, whoever is listening to me. I need him. I want him. I love him." She closed her eyes and realized too late that a tear rolled down her cheek. Quickly she used the tip of her finger to wipe it away and then Ilva nodded at Sansa.

Sansa pushed the wooden doors open. Everyone in the church stood up from their seat and looked over their shoulder to the two bridesmaids, the bride and her father. The music, a small orchestra from campus that had played on each and every fraternity occasion, started playing a classical piece of music that both Robb and Ilva had once fallen in love with.

Ilva straightened her back and lifted her chin. She curled her hand around her father's arm holding him firmly. She focussed on her feet, on placing one foot in front of the other, on walking slowly, on not tripping over her dress, on making sure she kept on breathing and kept on fighting all the other tears that wanted to roll down her cheeks but weren't allowed to.

Friends she had not seen in years were standing in the last rows. They wore smiles on their faces, but tears in their eyes. Most of her friends, and most of Jon's friends, had known Robb too. And so far there had not been a person who had not at least liked the Stark boy.

The last time Ilva had seen them all together had been at Robb's funeral. She felt her chest moving up and down rapidly and she closed her eyes while she breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. She was not at his funeral right now. She was at her wedding. And in front of the church Jon was waiting for her.

Ilva opened her eyes again and she saw the frown on Jons forehead. He had his arms folded in front of him and he bit his lip while he kept his glance on hers. The moment he noticed that she was watching him he nodded and Ilva nodded back at him a careful smile spreading across her face.

Her breathing calmed down. Her heartbeat slowed down and she loosened her tight grip on her father's arm before she would actually hurt him. She blocked the music, the melody that had echoed through their apartment way too often. She blocked the friends on the last rows. She blocked Catelyn on the front row who had finally allowed her tears to escape.

When Sansa reached the altar she bent her head and placed her basket next to the chair that was reserved for her. Arya did the same on the other side of the altar and then they both waited until Ilva reached Jon.

"Take care of my daughter for me." Ilva's father placed her hand carefully in Jon's and he held onto it one moment longer. "Promise me to do everything you can to make her happy."

Jon nodded firmly. "I won't disappoint you." He locked his glance with Ilva's father and then Ilva's father let their hands go and stepped back to walk to his seat, next to Ilva's mother. "You made it." Jon whispered and Ilva bent her head while she used her free hand to tuck a stand of hair behind her ear.

"Barely..." She shook her head, almost invisible to everyone else in the church. "We should have picked another entrance song." She chuckled, even though she felt a lingering pain in her chest.

"You made it." Jon repeated his sentence once more and he squeezed Ilva's hand. For a moment they just stared at each other.

Everyone else in the church was nothing but a blur. The music faded until it was completely gone. Seconds passed, minutes passed, but somehow it felt like time stood still.

"It's not too late to change your mind." Jon leaned towards her and Ilva smiled, but shook her head as quickly as she could.

"I haven't changed my mind, Jon Snow. And I never will." She took a deep breath and turned towards the priest who was patiently waiting for them to be ready. "There is nothing I want more than this, than us, than marrying you and becoming your wife."

It was the absolute truth. Because without Jon, without his presence, without his hand holding hers and his words soothing her mind, her life would be nothing but sadness and darkness. Without Jon there was nothing but an empty heart and a broken soul.