Til Death Do Us Part...

Life with Jon 14

"Ilva!" Sansa rushed towards her and wrapped her arms around her as if she had really believed she would never see Ilva again. And maybe she had had quite a few reasons to believe so. "How are you doing? I have to admit you don't look as great as I had hoped you would, but it's so good to see you again." Sansa didn't seem to want to let Ilva go, but eventually Ilva forced herself to smile and freed herself from Sansa's strong embrace.

"It's good to see you too, Sansa." Ilva stared at the girl for a long moment.

Sansa had grown a few more inches and on her high heels she was now towering over almost everyone, including most of the guys. But her face still displayed her angelic beauty and there was a certain glimmer in her eyes that made Ilva believe that Sansa actually did do much better than Ilva herself. Or that Sansa was at least better at faking it.

"You look stunning, though. College looks good on you." Ilva cocked her head and placed her hands on Ilva's shoulders. She meant each and every word, but despite that her voice broke in the middle of her sentence. "Or is it confidence, I can't say which one it is."

Sansa smiled. "I don't want to come across as avoiding the question, but I'd say we'd go into the coffee bar before we delve into all those answers." She didn't wait for Ilva's reaction and kept the door open so Ilva could walk in.

The coffee bar was filled with students bent over study books or staring at the screens of their laptops. Fingers were rushing over keyboards and once in a while a polite "Is this place free?" interrupted the comforting noise.

Ilva had never spent much time studying in coffee bars or restaurants. Every sound and cough could distract and annoy her and therefore she had always preferred the silence of the library and the company of books and fictional friends. But for a conversation she should have had weeks ago already, this seemed like the perfect place to catch up with a friend she didn't want to lose.

Sansa found an empty table in the far corner and when they had taken off their jackets and ordered their teas they sat down in the comfortable chairs, staring at each other as if they were both waiting for the other to go first.

"Thanks for not ordering the mint tea." Ilva swallowed. "Robb always did and I hate the smell of it."

"I know." Sansa nodded and she crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap. "I used to love it, but I don't think I'll ever be able to order it again." She bent her head and all of a sudden she looked a few years younger, just like she had done when Ilva had met her.

Ilva licked her dry lips. "I can't imagine what it's like to lose your best friend and brother. I've known him for two years and look at me, but you..." Ilva sighed. "You've never lived a day without him being there."

Sansa leaned back and she nodded when the waitress placed the tea on the table between them. "It's complicated sometimes." Sansa reached for her mug and curled her hands around it. "Sometimes I can enjoy myself that much that I almost forget that he died and then I feel guilty afterwards, although I simply did what he did so often when he was still a student."

"You're a freshman, Sansa. Robb doesn't want you to not enjoy yourself just because he died." Ilva leaned a little towards Ssansa and reached for her own mug. It was still too hot to drink, but holding it felt quite comfortable. "Are you in a sorority yet? You should really do so. Robb really enjoyed his time in his fraternity and he'd want you to share that experience."

Sansa shrugged. "Margaery Tyrell asked me to join hers." She bent her head. "To join Robb's, actually." She looked up again. "But I don't want to take his place, so I told her that I needed time to think about it. I've been thinking about it for months now, but they're surprisingly patient with me."

"What's holding you back?" Ilva furrowed her eyebrows.

"I fear they're simply asking me to become part of their sorority because I'm his sister and they either feel sorry for me and responsible for me or they just feel like they should honour Robb by inviting me in. I can never be sure they asked me because of me and what I have to offer."

"They never asked me." Ilva blurted the words out and a small smile spread across her face. "So, I'm sure it's not just because you're Robb's sister." A couple of years ago Ilva would have felt left out or ignored, but now she knew better. She wasn't made for the sorority life and everyone, Margaery most of all, knew it. "You should go for it."

Sansa cocked her head. "And what about you going for the things you want?" She frowned her eyes and she locked her glance with Ilva's. "What about you going for Jon?"

"It's really too early to talk about that." Ilva rolled her eyes and looked away, but Sansa let out a chuckle and shook her head.

"Sometimes you can behave like quite the hypocrite, if you ask me." She placed her mug on the table again. "Weren't you just telling me that I shouldn't not enjoy myself because Robb had died? I would say that the same goes definitely for you. Robb would have wanted you to be happy and to live a life worth living. Of course, he would have wanted it to be with him, but even without him you can't just deny yourself basic needs like love."

Was love a basic need? Probably. But still, Ilva was not sure if she really needed and wanted it right now. "Jon and I take things very slowly. And I know it probably annoys him, but during out first attempt to have a real date I completely freaked out."

"I know." Sansa nodded. "Jon seems to share quite a bit of his worries with Arya and she shares them with me." Sansa paused for a short moment. "But, Jon does love you a lot and I think that Robb couldn't be happier that he is the one who will get to marry you eventually."

"For now we haven't even kissed. I don't think marrying is happening any time soon..." Ilva's hands trembled and quickly she placed her mug on the table too.

"Jon was his best friend and Robb always wanted amazing things to happen to him. And I know for sure that Robb considered you an amazing thing and therefore I know for sure he'd give you and Jon his blessing."

"Robb's dead." Ilva bit her lip. "We can't ask him anymore, which means we'll never know for sure."

With a smile on her face Sansa reached for Ilva's hand and grabbed it firmly. "I don't know if you believe in God and Heaven and what more, but I believe that Robb is there somewhere. I'll ask him to send you a sign, a sign that you and Jon is all he would have wanted for the two of you."

Ilva was not sure if Sansa could really arrange that, just like she was unsure if she did believe in God and Heaven, but she smiled back at the red haired girl anyway.

After all, it was nice that she at least tried.