Ninjas of Love

Intellectual Pursuits

"Ready for The Word Witch to strategically place this game board up your big hairy arse?" Emily taunted her best friend, putting on her best- though still fairly terrible- impersonation of Hulk Hogan. "It's over, Emily." Charlie responded in a very serious, emotionless voice (think Andy Murray winning Wimbledon), "I have the high ground." Emily let a wry smile curl the ends of her thin, pink lips, and her ocean-blue eyes extolled a distinctly spiteful look of determination. From her mouth she practically spat three words at Charlie. "Bring it, bitchtaco."

Kerian, meanwhile, had snuck off- with a surprising level of ninja-like stealth for someone normally so very loud and conspicuous- to the large balsa wood bookcase and collected a title which interested him greatly. Inscribed on the  red leather front cover- coloured gold for maximum effect- the book's title screamed LOLIS AREN'T SWEETS AND LEMONS AREN'T A DELICIOUS FRUIT as if it was screaming to expel the horrific daemons brought upon it by the Lolis and lemons it had seen deep in the dark, unforgiving, hellish passages of KerianFurry 's search history. With an equal level of silent care, he had perched himself on the edge of the other end of the red sofa and was, with an intrigued salacity, poring over the pages upon pages of, let's just say lewd and not fit for publishing in this family friendly PG clean story, images and stories- many of which focused around a place called Gamindustri. Kerian had never heard of it, but then geography had never been his strong point. In truth, nothing had ever really been Kerian's strong point- he was just less bad at some things than he was others.

When he peered over the admittedly well-drawn picture of what he knew to be a "trap" from his lengthy discussions (that Emily and Charlie always joked privately were actually mutual masturbation sessions) with Billy, he saw Charlie carelessly toss down the final letter of the word "velvet", before Emily reached her hand over the board with incredible speed and agility to realign the tile with the square on the board, upon which it was supposed to be situated. Her eyes scanned across the board, as if she were a T-1000 searching for signs of Skynet. What she actually found, however, was a nice patch of unused real estate under the second V of "velvet"- and she quickly diverted her attention to the pool of seven letters she had acquired. She picked up five with her Cumberland sausage-like fingers and laid them trailing down from the V like a ponytail trailing down from a little girl's head. Emily had, in her typically highbrow and mature fashion, fashioned the word "vagina". More annoyingly to Charlie, whose face had just drained completely of colour and become a dull, grey pallor, the word spanned both a double letter and a triple word score. He let out a sigh of despair as Emily added her points to the scrap of paper they had elected as a scoreboard. Emily was now leading by eighty-five points over Charlie- thanks in no small part to what he saw as the unfair disallowance of the word (at least, he claimed it was a word) "xnopyt", which would have covered a triple letter score and thus delivered him at least thirty points.

Billy had developed his own method of blocking out the quarrelling Scrabble players that his three teammates were very grateful for; he had donned a pair of large, white Bleats headphones, through which he blared his EDM directly into his own cochlea. Meanwhile, Kerian was near silent, ostensibly still reading the seedy book he had procured from Blake's smut-smothered shelves- though he was actually highly invested in the highly competitive board game that was unfolding in front of him, thus he was watching what was effectively a build-your-own crossword far more often than he was glancing back at the latest chapter of the book, Shotacons.

Charlie's Dairy Milk-brown eyes skimmed over the board like a stone skims over a gentle wave. They finally settled on the letter A that sat right on the end of Emily's "vagina". "Could I play Yang?" Charlie asked, his face contorted into a confused grimace.

"Yes?" The blonde's unmistakable voice carried throughout the apartment as she entered through the door that Emily, just like Ruby, had forgotten to lock.