Ninjas of Love

The Twelve Gays Of Christmas

"Thank you, pilot." As she exited the craft, Weiss showed- in a rare display- some level of gratitude toward someone who had helped her. "No problem, Miss Schnee. Just doing my job." The pilot answered humbly. "Enjoy your food."
"I'm sure I will. The company, maybe not so much." The heiress and the flyboy shared a small giggle as Weiss became the last of the strange RWBY-BECK-PINC amalgam to leave the Hoshikawa ship. "I'll go order for us all, friends." Penny offered. "What would you all like to eat?" Ruby piped up first with a barely intelligible "Nuggets!".
"I'm so glad I had that translation feature installled." Penny giggled, seeming to be beginning to grasp the concept of a joke. "Anyway, Weiss?"
"Do they have anything vegan?"
"I'll have a Filet O'Fish please, Penny." Blake answered, voice devoid of emotion or thought, as if she'd auto-piloted her order. Yang put her scroll in her pocket and recited her chosen order to Penny. "One Big Tasty, one Cheeseburger, one pack of cheese melts, some fries, and a McFlurry."
"Added to my list! Now, Team BECK, what do you all want to consume?"
"Eh... I think I'll have a Chicken Legend, no bun." The rest of his team facepalmed as Penny stored to the order to her memory. "I'm not sure I'll have anything." Em answered.
"Yes you will." Charlie told her sternly. "Fine. I'll have a Chicken Big Tasty meal with an Apple Pie."
"That's more like it, Em." Charlie reassured her, placing a hand softly on her still slightly moist shoulder. "As for me," he continued, "I will consume a box of Chicken Selects."
"Kerian?" Penny asked, trying to get him to answer. "Double Saver, fries, cocaine, and a flurry."
"Error: Cocaine not found. Will replace with Coca-Cola." Penny warned him. "I will now note down what I want to order. Done. Iris, what will you eat?"
"You know what I'm going to say, Penny."
"No, I don't. I wiped your normal order from my cloud saves."
"One Fortnite Borger please." Iris finished off her order with a picture-perfect rendition of the Orange Justice. "I'll just order you a Quarter with Cheese then, as your request has discombobulated my servos."
"Yeah, sure, I like them." Iris responded nonchalantly. "Nadeshiko?" Emily prompted the kimono-clad girl to order, using her best attempt at a soft, effeminate, Patchian-accented lilt. "Oh, I think I will have..." Nadeshiko paused to think. Emily noticed just how thick the young girl's East Asian accent was, "a box of 20 nuggets. Nothing else though."
"Duly noted!" Penny assured her. "And as for Ciel? I presume the usual French Stack?"
"Oui." Ciel answered, as Penny tried to resist the urge to go into translate mode. "O-Okay! I'll be right back, if you friends want to grab a table!"

Yang sat down on one of the chairs around the large, oblong table and quietly let out a pained gasp and clutched her ribs once again. Emily quickly sat down next to her and shed her jacket like a hurried snake. She wrapped it tightly around the blonde girl's midriff, so that it would hold her ribs in place- a bit like a tourniquet but not really at all, as that isn't what a tourniquet is for, ignore me- and relieve some of the pain, tying the sleeves of the jacket together in a large bow around Yang's back. "It's ok, Yang. Deep breaths. One. Exhale. Two. Exhale. Got it?" Yang nodded, as tears began to prick her lower eyelid.

Either side of the two invalids sat Nadeshiko and Ruby- with Ruby next to her sister, softly rubbing Yang's chubby cheek to comfort her older sister. On the other side of the table sat the rest of Team BECK, and Blake- leaving room for Weiss, Penny, Iris, and Ciel on the ends of the table.

"I'm here!" Penny exclaimed, as she carried three trays of food to the table. "Which of these is the vegan one?" Weiss asked, her hunger turning her into more of a snappy, impatient bitch than usual. "I think it's the salad, Weiss." Yang pointed out, her face contorted into a pained expression. "Thanks. I really enjoy the salads from here."
"Yeah, because they're all you can eat." Charlie jibed, taking a triumphant bite out of one of his strips of deep-fried chicken. "Just because you choose to eat dead animal tissue doesn't mean you're better than me."
"Son of a fucker! You and your truisms!" Charlie jokingly shouted at Weiss, pointing at her aggressively with a flaccid, half-eaten Chicken Select. Emily tapped Charlie on the shoulder to offer him her fries, which he took a few of, before assertively- yet non-threateningly- insisting she ate the rest of them.

I mean, I am hungry now, Emily thought to herself, but look at Team PINC. All so stick-figure thin- with possibly the exception of Nadeshiko, I cant tell under the kimono- and all so beautiful. If I eat shit like this, there's no way I can look like them. I don't want to be waddling out for our doubles fight looking like Boogie2988. She was snapped back to reality by Charlie whispering to her, "Just eat lmoa." She dutifully bowed her head and finished off the remnants (pun definitely intended) of her burger and fries. "And the drink."
"Yes, mum." Emily responded moodily. "Oh, and сука блять." She finished her sentence as she placed the straw of her Diet Coke between her lips.

***

"Ok, back on the ship everyone. The pilot's been waiting for us!" Weiss called out, like the most middle-class tour guide ever. "We need to get back to our dressing room before we miss any of the next fight. I wanna see some Faunus get their asses kicked into oblivion. No offence, Blake."
"Offence taken."
"Anyway, let's go watch those tailed losers, Team SSSN, get fucked up."
"And people wonder why I hate the Schnee Dust Company." Blake muttered to herself.