Complicated Love

Better Times?

I roll over in bed, expecting to spread out and stretch as I force myself awake, only to hit the sleeping rock laying next to me.

"What the fuck?" I shoot up, looking over to see Brad "When did you get home?"

"Great to see you, too." He mumbles, turning over to get more sleep "We finished filming early.  I thought you'd enjoy seeing me."

"A little heads up would have been nice.  I could've sent James home."

"Oh shut up.  You're too much of a wimp to even try that." He reaches out, blindly pulling my closer to him.

"Dude, let go of my boob.  You're crushing it." I land on the pillow next to him "How do you always manage to grab that?"

"Husbandly instinct." He rolls over, laying his head on my chest "So what are we doing today?  No more fighting."

"Well that depends.  Did you unpack or did you throw your shit all over my clean living room again?  I just vacuumed and cleaned up last night."

"Everything is still in the bags... the bags just might be thrown around."

"Seriously, Brad!  All I ask when you come home is to not make a mess right away!  I'm sick of cleaning up your shit!  You aren't a child." 

I quickly get up, letting his head fall into the bed, and walk away to get dressed.

"Calm down." He walks up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I'm trying to pull my pants up "It won't be there long.  We'll live."

"Yeah, you're right it won't be there long." I push him away, pulling my pants up "Because you're going downstairs to pick it up.  Now."

"You bitch if I don't notice you changing or showering, acting like I don't give a shit about you, and then when I do pay attention you bitch too!"

He slams the door open, storming downstairs to pick up his shit. 

"You know, for trying to work things out and not fight much, you make it very difficult."

"Well maybe if you would listen to me this wouldn't happen.  I can't believe after all these years you still don't know the little things like this that bother me!"

"They're freaking bags, Jen!  Everything is still in them.  Not thrown around.  Not dumped out.  It's all in the FREAKING BAG!"

I walk into the kitchen for my coffee, making sure he knows I hear and am ignoring him.  It'll piss him off even more.

"It's in the wash, you happy?" He reaches out, stealing my coffee "Along with whatever you had sitting in front of the washer."

"Very happy." I lean in for a kiss "So how long are you home this time?"

"Well, it depends.  They're looking over what we have done, and if they like it 10 days, if not 7.  Then I'm off to Mexico for 3 weeks."

Hearing those words, even though I was expecting them, hurts.  I know we chose this life, and it's not always easy, but I feel like we're apart way more than we're together.

"But we have these next few days to spend together."

"Yeah, I just wish we weren't always apart.  It sucks."

"I know it does, Jen.  I don't like it either." He sighs, pulling me closer "Maybe we can do something after.  Just the two of us.  Like a celebration."

"Our 8th wedding anniversary is a week after you get back."

I wrap my arms around him, finding comfort in his embrace.

"Let's go out tonight." He suggests "As long as we can be civil enough."

"Okay.  But I expect somewhere nice.  I still have that new dress for the last time we tried and never made it."

"Deal.  And I promise not to piss you off last minute and cancel over whatever it was last time."

"You better not.  It's been way too long."

I walk over to the fridge, where we have a list of some of our favorite restaurants hanging.  He follows me, taking it quickly.

"You go shower or whatever you do that always takes forever.  It's a surprise."

"It better be a good one."

"Oh it will.  Just wait."

I grab my dress from our closet so it can hang while I get my shower. 

"You still have the tags on this thing?" Brad walks in the bathroom after a while "You really didn't wear it."

"I don't lie."

I finish my shower and grab a towel to dry off as I walk out.  He's still standing there, looking at the dress as he buttons his shirt.

"You'll look great.  I love the dress."

"Good, I used your credit card to buy it."

"You do realize that it's both our money used to pay that off, right?" He zippers the dress once I turn my back towards him "It just says my name."

"I know, but seeing your name on the bill makes me feel better."

I go over to do my hair and makeup while Brad gets on the rest of his outfit.  I watch him in the corner of the mirror, knowing that he's sneaking glances at me too.

"I'm ready." I stand up after a while, walking towards him "You look nice.  Where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there."

He takes my hand, leading me down the steps and into the car.  I sit down, waiting for him to get in and he drives us to the same restaurant we always go to for our anniversaries.

"Oh my God.  We still have a few weeks thought."

"It's never to early to celebrate." He opens my door, holding out his hand for me "You've put up with me for 8 years.  I figure I can surprise you with this."

"Actually 12 years, but whose counting."

"The first 4 were voluntary.  These last 8 were forced.  We're too lazy to get a divorce."

"You're right."

We get seated and instead of menus sitting on front of us, there's drinks, which confuses me.

"I told you I would take care of everything.  You'll love what I ordered."

"This place never seems to change."

I look around at everything, taking in all the little details and memories.  The one corner, where we sat the first year we were here reminds me of the necklace he got me when he suggested moving in together, another table, the one across from us now, is more private and the one he picked so he would have privacy when he asked me to marry him and I bawled my eyes out.  My favorite place though, is the table we're at now.  It gets moves around often, have it's battle scars, but most importantly, it has our names.  On our first wedding anniversary we sat here and carved our names into the wood while they hung our wedding picture above it.  Every year on our anniversary, or whenever we chose to celebrate it, they move the table along with the picture.

"I really hope one day we've sat in every area of this restaurant."