Complicated Love

Life Before Baby

"You look cute," Brad walks up, wrapping his arms around me as we stare out into the ocean "I don't know what the ocean did to deserve having you stare at it all morning."

"Well first of all it didn't put me in the situation I'm in that made get up this early.  Your child had me up to pee at 6.  SIX!"

"And I'm very sorry about that.  He is too, I think." He gently rubs my swollen belly, causing even more commotion to start, "He just really wants to meet us, that's all."

As worried as I am about our future, as much as it feels like we could fail at any moment, I couldn't be happier to be experiencing this with him.  I wouldn't want to be carrying anyone else's child, and I definitely wouldn't want to raise my children with anyone else.  We've been through so many rough patches recently, and I worry constantly, but as much as I worry, I know we're going to be okay.  We're going to make it, especially because we've made it this far.  He's been my rock ever since we got together, whether we were in a good place or not.

"This is the last we'll be away just the two of us... it's crazy to think about that.  I know what's happening, it's just still amazing to me that we're actually going to be parents.  I still don't feel ready."

"We're ready.  We don't feel it, but we are.  We've talked about this off and on for years, we're adults, we have everything we need to support him, we can handle this."

Brad knows I've been feeling uneasy about everything, all the struggles we'll face, and all we've faced in the recent past.  It's not going to be easy, but he's always promising that we will get through this.  He's so excited about whats to come for us, constantly wanting to show and prove it. 

"Let's go do something fun, enjoy our last free vacation.  We deserve it."

He pulls me back through our room to get ready.  He won't tell me what we're doing or what I need to have with.  All he says is that we're going to have fun and I should wear a bathing suit.

"That looks like something my mother would wear,"  he walks in the bathroom as I'm tying my suit "Seriously you're hot and you choose that?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because, anything else and suddenly I'm all over the tabloids and pregnant with twins because they think I'm huge.  This covers everything... except my boobs.  Nothing works for covering them."

"And I'm perfectly fine with that."

"Yeah of course you are." I roll my eyes, grabbing my bag as we head out "Can you tell me where we're going now?"

"No, that would ruin the surprise."

He pulls me down some trail onto a private dock, where theres a yacht waiting for us.  I stare at it in amazement, never thinking this is what he would have planned for me. 

"Brad, you really didn't have to do this.  I would have been fine with just relaxing all day."

"I know, but you deserve it.  You're always doing nice things for me." 

We climb onto the yacht to see that it's set up for a beautiful candlelight dinner for later on today.  Brad sends me to look around at everything while he talks to some people, planning even more surprises. 

I wonder around the huge deck, taking in the amazing view from all the different areas.  It's now slowly moving, giving me the chance to watch all the buildings in the distance get smaller by the second. 

The salty air circles around me, forming a warm breeze as we pick up the pace.  My hair flies around my face as we wind picks up, forcing me to go inside and find Brad.

"Hi, Mrs. Pitt!  Would you like to see your room for the night?"

I turn to see a stewardess standing behind me holding a trey full of our favorite snacks.

"My room?  Sure..."

I follow her down a hallway until we get to a few doors.  She points to one, letting me know it's mine, and motions for me to go in.  I open it to see that Brad has very obviously already been in here and notice a little note on the bed. 

"These are for you," the stewardess puts the tray down "I'll be right down the hall if you need anything."

"Thank you."

I pick up the note to see Brad's handwriting along with a message.

  Jen,

I know I haven't been the most supportive the past year, and I feel terrible for that.  I couldn't imagine my life without you and our child in it, and I promise to fix all those mistakes.  Meet me on the top deck once you're done with your snacks.

I smile reading it, knowing it might not be much, but that it's heartfelt coming from him. 

Since I know he's impatient, and I'm starving, I eat the snacks as quickly as I can and run out to the deck.  I climb up the steps to find him leaning over the edge, staring at the ocean surrounding us.

"Hey," I walk up behind him, "I hope there's a good reason for me to walk up all those steps."

"It was a test to make sure you really love me.  You passed."

"So what do I get?"

"Well I had some pre-dinner cake, but I got hungry and ate that, so you get the promise of knowing you're stuck with me for at least 18 years."

"Wow, couldn't have asked for anything better than that."

I feel the boat slowing down as we talk, causing me to look at Brad confused.  He grabs my hand, leading me back down the stairs to the edge of a deck.

"Time to go swimming."

"What?  Brad this is the middle of the ocean... what if there's sharks or stingrays or something else crazy?"

"Do you really think I would have you do this if it wasn't safe?  They have the area checked out.  We're fine."

He jumps right off the side into the water while I walk off the ship, swimming over towards him.

"Okay so maybe you're right, this is cool."

"You should trust me more."

"Hey Brad," I pull him closer as we relax, "I love you."

"I love you more."

Sorry it took so long to update, I had a lot going on personally.  Please go follow brennifer2 and check out "Hollywood Journey"!